... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...
TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT
Shocked. Head spirals backwards. Sketchbook work today.
'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death
...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"
1: Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.
2: Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.
3: Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).
Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.
BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!
Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.
trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.
NOTES from Psychology texts:
"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."
A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.
Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)
Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.
Sketchbook work today. Little steps are better than no steps at all.
Stretched a few canvases today.
Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.
Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today. Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.
"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas
A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!
Too many ideas floating around.
NB: To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand. Can't do any harm.
A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.
I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry. Still so powerful. The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides. It is so important. So glad to have seen it again.
Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.
...where presence is evident...
"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie
The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively. Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.
Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018. Fingers crossed!
"What's for you won't go past you."
"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R
Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.
"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R
Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today. Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.
So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast. This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance. Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!