portrait

RDH: MARCH 2024

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02/03/24

C. S. - death note. (video grab possibly)

03/03/24

‘Séance’ piece might have had its day. Setting it away for now. ‘Final Fancy Dress’ - good progress made. Tight in portrait and looser strokes in the clothing.

06/03/24

Alright - lazy / stupid. No ifs, no buts.

10/03/24

Background progress on ‘badger’ piece. ‘Séance’ has been cleansed. Just went too far. Compositionally flawed from the offset and was fighting a losing battle. Lesson learnt.

12/03/24

Didn’t get in. A bit annoyed but there is always next year.

13/03/24

Bit the bullet and took the initiative. A nice reply - now trying to not get ahead of myself.

‘Mother’ exhibition at Vault Studios.

17/03/24

Drew up F.W. on large canvas and some good tonal progress on ‘Gallery Visit’ today in the studio. Background more vibrant perhaps?

21/03/24

Golden Thread Gallery’s touring exhibition ‘How We Got To…’ in Shankhill Library.

22/03/24

‘Restraint Study’ and ‘Amy Study’ submitted. 🤞

23/03/24

Trip to Derry for VOID Arts Centre opening ‘Composting for the Future’. Harking back to projects of the past yet paving a new, more collaborative direction.

24/03/24

‘Gallery Visit’ - few tweaks, bit more blurring and hey presto - finito!

27/03/24

28/03/24

Did not make the long-list. Ah well.

30/03/24

Trip to Portaferry and a slight change in plans for Sunday. Back to the studio all being well next week!

RDH: FEBRUARY 2024

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01/02/24

Beginnings…

02/02/24

…officially taken a back seat. That’s OK though. Needs - Must. Doesn’t mean the grey matter stops!

I mind a ‘Thunderball’ poster with a table in it - or was it N.S.N.A.?

Knots - Riddled.

03/02/24

20:11 - Malcolm John Kielt born - 7lbs 10oz.

Jan was amazing.

09/02/24

I have been thinking about what was put to [redacted] for the [redacted]. Advice could (and should) be taken on board closer to home.

Certain circumstances, mean that practice has taken a back seat - as it should - but this shouldn’t be an excuse to down tools completely and end any creative activity that could be happening. I don’t know if I could fully switch off anyway.

Just because the practical studio and office / sketchbook time is lowered doesn't mean all artistic outlets dry up! There is room in other spaces. Even now, trying to carve out some creative time will be important. Use any spare time wisely - but also enjoy the early days of baby number 2!

10/02/24

Studio cleaning and some posthumous signing this morning.

Had time cleared for the studio for a few hours - just to get some paint down when no sooner had I started, the skirting man arrived.

The best laid plans etc etc.

15/02/24

16/02/24

BEEP BEEP!

17/02/24

“A Brush with…. Wilhelm Sasnel”.

“I do not control painting; I follow it.”

Wilhelm Sasnel

Some studio work - bit of a no-go. Need to re-energise the on-the-go paintings somehow OR start from scratch OR (3rd option):

Finding - or trying to find a new rhythm. Tough going but we’ll get there. What have I done in the past when I’ve come to a cul-de-sac?

DRAWING BOARD! Practical Next Steps.

18/02/24

Plan set out to be productive this evening - … had other ideas.

Submitted!

X

IX

XIII

20/02/24

THRESHOLD Gallery, Belfast showcasing work as part of the Golden Thread Gallery Collection.

Pond(er) at Catalyst Arts.

23/02/24

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”

Voltaire

25/02/24

“A Brush with… Stanley Witney”

(…a painting has to get ugly before it can be beautiful. If you go straight to the beautiful, you’re aiming at the pretty.)

Two canvases started. Badgers’ is quite interesting already.

Fingers crossed.

28/02/24

“A.J.#240” - well I fell asleep during that podcast. Riveting.

29/02/24

Sketchbook studies.

RDH: JANUARY 2024

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02/01/24

Uncertainty is where the magic happens.

Organising ‘used’ imagery.

03/01/24

…back to the drawing board.

04/01/24

… strengthened my resolve. Sometimes you are too close to the work to see the threads / connections running through it - so another eye is always greatly valued.

…stagger (they talk).

06/01/24

For now, less writing for the sake, less procrastination and more doing please.

Late night sketchbook work - three cadets on the one page.

07/01/24

Second night in a row where the dreams were really messed up.

14/04/24

First day back in the studio for the year. ‘séance’ darkened down by layer of charcoal.

‘Restraint Study’ finished, and palette is clean as a whistle!

18/01/24

Snow Day.

more drawing = more ideas = more work

Andro Wekua: Louisiana Channel (Hand on the shoulder).

Words to Action.

21/01/24

Saltburn - good but gross.

Sick all weekend, missed Watty’s All-Ireland glory. A real dud of a weekend.

22/01/24

Storm damage.

23/01/24

25/01/24

…peaks and troughs. 2020 was unique in that time seemed to last so much longer. Suck it up.

Late night drawing.

28/01/24

A weekend of nesting.

29/01/24

Lost… looked up and down the road, in and out of fields. Came back.

31/01/24

Using vagueness, opens more possibilities for the viewer.

RDH: NOVEMBER 2023

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01/11/23

Beautiful print by Chloe Austin arrives in the post!

02/11/23

Late Night Art Belfast - another cracker!

Cameron Clarke’s exhibition in DAS, probably one of the best installations I’ve seen in a long time. The perfect week for it - ending the spooky season with a bang.

05/11/23

Studio - setting aside the two large works for now and going to focus on the two portraits in progress.

It was all going so well until… working on ‘Indifferent Study’ and thought I would be productive in between waiting on a thin layer of paint to set. Began chopping some firelighters for later and…... BAD IDEA! Took a decent chunk out of side of a finger. Just when I was getting into a rhythm! It will heal but my favourite pen won’t. It died this evening too. Doesn’t bad things come in threes?

11/11/23

Short Studio Session. ‘Indifferent Study’ = Hair OK, surprisingly. Eyes / mouth needs tweaked. Skin Tone: slight contrast needed between light and shade.

FINISHED!

See, little checklists of what to focus on before lifting a brush work!

14/11/23

Morning Traffic

16/11/23

BVAF: re-energised and eager to take pro-active steps in art community in city.

19/11/23

S.S.S.

‘Amy Study’: Background - dimmed / dulled - green gold + payne’s grey? Need to get a grip - FOCUS / PRIORITISE / WORK!

…was not expecting to finish this portrait today. Creating little checklists in between layers really does help to critically evaluate the work as it goes - pushes for focus.

Getting to the point where I feel an outlet is needed. What’s holding me back…

Cogs are a turning…

Keening

I have a secret - I listen to Radio 3 to drift off.

21/11/23

An impressive build

23/11/23

The streets are arteries.

Pope L. - advice to the young…

Stuck on a canvas for months. Tutor at the time saw him struggling and said:

“WRITE ON IT!”

Exorcise your thoughts and things will stem from it.

26/11/23

29/11/23

Come rain, hail or shine (but more than likely frost) … solid brainstorming session.

The hmming and writing is all well and good but if you’re actively not doing anything - then it’s just noise.

30/11/23

Weird lights in the sky over Glenshane. Six evenly spaced lights in a diagonal - no sound.

DEBUNKED! Mystery solved, Musk’s star link.

RDH: OCTOBER 2023

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01/10/23

Three white rabbits.

Studio: ‘Passive Study’ going well - bouncing between the brush and the drawing mark. It’s always interesting to see which of the two (if any at all) comes to the fore.

“A Brush With… Sarah Lucas”

‘A Séance in London’ - slowly building layers but, more importantly, working through structure and composition. Very early days.

03/10/23

Anxiety overload!

05/10/23

WOW! Can’t remember a late night art quite like this one in a very long time. Belfast was buzzing!

09/10/23

Put the bloody phone DOWN!

11/10/23

Quick sketch of artist Amy Higgins. Ideas brewing.


12/10/23

Easy to say, but difficult to implement.

In transit

15/10/23

Studio - A.H. portrait study: A good start. There was one point where the charcoal became a little too much but thankfully it wasn’t difficult to rectify. Just before adding the last layer of charcoal, all the previous drawing marks were pushed back with just the paint taking the stage. Some nice areas of tonal quality but overall the image was flat. You would think that adding a charcoal line would make it even more flat in appearance but the opposite is the case! The crux of it - that interplay between the drawing line and the painting mark.

17/10/23

Second straight day of jury service but on the flip side, a good chance to see Kwok Tsui’s new exhibition in the CCA.

18/10/23

QSS - ‘Messy Business’. Great group painting show.

21/10/23

…worth sticking foot in the door.

22/10/23

Studio time. A long session but very little to show for it. Slow progress on all fronts. Perhaps working on multiple pieces (four canvases) is biting a little more off than I can chew?

Setting a couple of pieces off to the side for a while should make it more manageable. It probably hasn’t helped that the palette is in a poor state and needs cleaned badly. Not a complete loss of a day but it could’ve been a lot more fruitful. Several factors at play but, lesson learned.

Palette given a good scrub before finishing up.

25/10/23

Dublin - too dark to write on the bus down - too dark to write on the bus home. The Autumn evenings are here.

Atoosa Pour Hosseini’s ‘The Magic Circle’ in Temple Bar Gallery + Studios is excellent. Remnants of vintage horror films in the video piece.

RDH: AUGUST 2023

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02/08/23

Securing loose ends this week. Collecting and dropping off work.

Still from “THE NEW DAWN FADES” by Clare Langan at the Golden Thread Gallery.

09/08/23

Fell through. In any case it was still an honour to have been asked alongside the other artists!

11/08/23

14/08/23

Wonderful time over in London. Tried to paint today. Stared at the work for ages but nothing leaped out. Sometimes just looking can be productive. Time to re-energise and heal.

15/08/23

Now may be a suitable time to take own advice and reach out…. can’t just fire a blanket. Have enough work.

17/08/23

Reset desperately needed. Very distracted creatively at the minute. Whatever time can be set aside MUST be used for artistic purposes. Hopefully will get on the right track. Am I too harsh on myself?

Pleased to be a part of Catalyst Arts Member’s Show.

20/08/23

Some progress but not much. Don’t want to dwell on this too much but, as an honest self-assessment in a diary context, WTF. The will to paint is there at times, at others it’s the furthest thing from mind. Perhaps if there were one or two short - medium term targets. Something to aim for may light the fire again.

21/08/23

23/08/23

Yesterday… will remain nameless but they reminded me of the passion and push to create. Jan had noticed when I haven’t made work in a while my mood goes down, procrastination increases and there’s a that wee spiral downwards.

  1. Accepting you’re in a rut.

  2. Take a Break - self care.

  3. Collaborate with others.

  4. Change it Up.

  5. Search for Inspiration

  6. Keep Going

Morning pages - keep moving the pen. Don’t stop writing.

Pages 1 -3: Uncontrolled free writing

Page 4: Reflection on the day.

Advice from subconscious. Not showing my best self. Live by example. To be able to hold your head high. Shake it off and move on.

  • Clean, workable space

  • Back to the drawing board (there is a reason this is a saying)

  • 30 minutes of drawing / research is better than 30 minutes of trash TV. Use time wisely!

24/08/23

I wonder if the morning papers would work for sketchbook work. Probably not unlike what Maggie Hambling does as part of her morning routine.

It’s a beautiful morning. The sun is blinding in the brilliant flashes as the bus winds and turns heading across the river Bann. Wall to wall blue. …solo heart to heart, I did my best to be less distracted last night. It’s about being conscious about the negative habits and aiming to nip them in the bud as quick as possible that should really make pay dividends.

Sore neck = Poor Posture.

…give myself permission…

You’d think that well over a decade I should know the answer.

IDEAS / DRAWING / REFLECTIONS / LISTS

Anything goes. The only rule is to put pen to paper every day as much as possible.

Life has a way of happening around you so if shit happens and venting is needed. That’s OK. A.i.L. - L.i.A.

Observing more can only be a good thing - possible leads into other areas of practice. Maybe best to not get too carried away.

Called into Anne Butler’s show “Objects in Time” at the GT on lunch. Such beautiful detail and intricacy in something so delicate and heavy. Love it when materials aim to confuse - mimic characteristics of another.

27/08/23

“Ready to Go” - does it need scaled up? Looking at the “Rooftop / Marina” piece, there are elements in the city scape that are working. Nice, loose and gestural marks but it still needs a lot of work. For the roof in the foreground, less charcoal marks perhaps? Just get something down.

“RtG” charcoaled up, witg the figure more prominent, its already looks like a far more intertersting composition. Solid progres on “Marina” today, especially the cityscape. SSS' aren’t to be taken lightly.

NB: SSS stands for Short Sunday Sessions.

28/08/23

APPLY

30/08/23

Dublin - Curved street is great!

31/08/23

Looking forward to ARRAY event tonight.

Fifteen years. Fifteen years since my outlook was altered forever. Still raw, even after all this time. Anniversaries reel back the pain like a fishing line. You cast it off eventually, but it will always come back. Wrote that like Senior.

“The Night Draws Near” by Array at the Ulster Museum. Wonderful experience.

BE PRESENT!

I will remember the chorus; singing as we were led up to the Síbín for a long time.

RDH: MAY 2023

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02/05/23

First day…

Make time for practice.

03/05/23

04/05/23

…the drive to help.

Late Night Art Belfast. The first in a long time.

07/05/23

“Boy Soldier” - finished.

Two new little pieces started this afternoon too!

09/05/23

New EMIC piece in Belfast City Centre

13/05/23

Sent feelers out…

14/05/23

Need to tread carefully with this one.

19/05/23

Supplies!

20/05/23

A good tidy up of the studio.

21/05/23

Studio time.

Going somewhere and then damn near destroyed ‘Mugshot’ piece. Taking some time and stepping back helped save the day.

Looking is still working.

Brought it back. Relying too heavily on the charcoal mark can sometimes lead to images turning into a caricature of itself. Pared back the drawing line - focussed on the tones and limited palette that don’t stray too far from each other. Much more successful as a whole now. Bit more to go but good otherwise.

25/05/23

Luc Tuymans - surgical precision. All working out is done beforehand - composition, colours, size, materials all planned in advance so that intelligence goes from the brain (in the preparation stages) to the hand (in the making). I don’t know if that would work for me. That split second spontaneity - yes it can go wrong and often does - is needed for play with materials. Having a regimented script when painting would not work for me.

Need to catch a grip. Too easily distracted by shiny things.

27/05/23

“Egon Schiele: Dangerous Desires” on Iplayer.

28/05/23

Studio.

“What fascinates you about that bastard?”

Definitely evokes a response. Is it worth it to get response based on the sources for the work rather than the work itself? A pickle. It’s not a glorification of a person’s actions. It is a study, an investigation of a portrait of evil. Aesthetic response to traumatic event.

Ethics vs Aesthetics.

In the end, I’m never speaking or working for anyone but myself.

Wee bit of progress on little prayer canvas. Could the two be companion pieces?

31/05/23

Dublin bound.

RHA show - an art overload but in the best way!

Quick stop in Temple Bar and glad I saw performance for Fanny Gicquel’s show “breathing with heels, walking with eyes”. Also popped into Project Art Centre to catch “Got Damp / Púscadh Anuas” by Avril Corroon.

RDH: NOVEMBER 2022

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Studio Time with an assistant!

08/11/22

Painting in RUA has SOLD!

11/11/22

It all adds up.

12/11/22

“You know in the back of your own mind if criticism holds any merit for yourself.”

13/11/22

Studio time - short but sweet stint today. Good progress on three pieces. A little too on the nose in some areas but very productive otherwise.

17/11/22

VAI Get Together day 2. Highlight was listening to Samir Mahmood talk about his practice.

19/11/22

Progress on “Feeling Stretched” and “Red Lines”. Getting there. Colour choices needing a tweak though.

20/11/22

Belfast trip with the family. Ulster Museum - Renaissance to Romanticism. Brueghel the Younger pieces very good and the Goya portrait on display is a special painting.

Great to get up with Jan and Imogen to see the RUA again.

26/11/22

Shocked and saddened to hear of Hugh O’Donnell’s passing. I got to know Hugh in applying for funding in 2018 and again in the run up to my solo show in Atypical in 2020.

Hugh was always so kind with his time - having a studio visit beforehand and his feedback and insight during the install was a dream. Hugh was a real presence and his life blessed all who spent time with him. Rest in Piece Hugh.

30/11/22

Priorities shifted about.

RDH: MARCH 2022

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01/03/22

So pleased to have been asked to contribute in the latest issue of Visual Artists Ireland News Sheet.

Meteorological Spring is here.

Nice to catch up with the Ogham crew again.

02/03/22

Loose drawing in response to J.A.’s prompt and RMc’s drawings.

03/03/22

…done now…

05/03/22

Belfast. ‘Don’t Look’ piece is done I think.

  • Smooth out the dog / red?

  • New piece / Loosey Goosey

* LOOK AT WHAT’S HAPPENING IN THE SPACE! *

Nearly ruined ‘Ode’ piece with a flood of red. Hopefully brought it back.

06/03/22

Didn’t stray too far.

07/03/22

Really good chat with writer for ‘Ogham’.

08/03/22

It’s never going to be finished!

12/03/22

Final day of ‘Ogham’ residency.

Painted me wee heart out, finishing two larger pieces and having some fun with the smaller study of Stephanie Tanney’s casts.

Wet walk home.

13/03/22

A slight onset of melancholia creeping up now that the residency is over. But, the show is still to come!

15/03/22

A process of threads?

All of this is temporary?

A pause in the process?

Settling of the sands?

THIS IS NOT THE END

17/03/22

Exhibition open to the public today.

20/03/22

Louise Bourgeois - “A spider creates from it’s own body.”

Pregnant with atmosphere, enigma.

New work in progress.

Great to get painting in garage today and get palette cleaned up.

27/03/22

Imogen Rhonda Kielt, born in the early hours of Mother’s Day. 7lbs 6oz. Perfect and everyone well.

Can see so many loved ones’ faces in this tiny new one. It’s just incredible.

29/03/22

Working to find a rhythm.

31/03/22

Belfast Bound. Helped add some chalk to Joy’s Entry for Rachel Macmanus’ superb performance. So good to see the show in the flesh blown and all involved in the project at Catalyst Arts.

It’s been a great experience at a time I will never forget.

RDH: OCTOBER 2021

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02/10/21

Point of order today: DO NOT OVER PAINT!!!

Think “Rex Aegypti Penultimus” is finished.

05/10/21

VAI GET TOGETHER 2021

Rediscovering private and personal spaces / rituals.

06/10/21

Chanelle Walshe - self organised self-curation.

Duc Van Pham - Breaking down the figures - is this a way of adjusting / adding narrative?

Keynote: Christian Jankowski - “The Hunt” “Casting Jesus”

Beuys - difficult.

07/10/21

Why do we put people in boxes?

Superflex - interspecies living - “Flooded McDonalds”.

10/10/21

Dosed to eyeballs so not going anywhere fast.

12/10/21

Some sketchbook studies tonight.

13/10/21

Two new canvases begun today. Little and large.

16/10/21

Strong sense of self.

Good progress in the studio today. Didn’t mean for the small one to go Holy.

20/10/21

Accepted into Platform Arts group show!

Detail of “Lady of the Manor”.

Getting there with “Lady of the Manor”.

23/10/21

Globalist cheerleading.

24/10/21

Wardrobe fiasco.

“Lady of the Manor” finished.

25/10/21

Day trip to Belfast to deliver “Saint and Sinner” for Platform Arts group show.

28/10/21

HALLELUJAH!

29/10/21

Definitely been distracted lately but the blinkers need to come back on.

30/10/21

As it’s the season for it, here’s a golden oldie from 2003. This photo was taken for a GCSE Art project where my cousin Aidan dressed as the grim reaper holding a very rusty scythe. Our cat then walked along the tin roof behind him, jumped on his shoulders and then proceeded to stroll across the top of the blade. It all happened purely by chance and made for a great photo.

31/10/21

Early morning tonal work to “The Doctor Will See You Now”. Slow and steady progress but definitely best to stop when I did to give new layers a chance to dry.

Detail of work in progress - “The Doctor Will See You Now”.

Merry Halloween.

RDH: AUGUST 2021

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02/08/21

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Cover of Geraldine O’Kane’s ‘Unsafe’ has dropped. It looks great!

03/08/21

Finally finished sketches from last week.

10/08/21

Very very hectic at the minute.

11/08/21

Night Sky

Night Sky

18/08/21

Still pinching myself. The perfect day. Married my best friend surrounded by nearest and dearest.

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22/08/21

cock-and-bull.jpg

26/08/21

Didn’t get … art award. Very positive feedback in email though.

28/08/21

First day back in the studio in over a month. Not much occurring but still good to get the overalls on and paint out.

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Detail work on ‘Life is But a Dream’.

29/08/21

Dusting off the cobwebs.

Finished ‘L.i.B.a.D’. Kept it a little looser than usual and more on the raw side. Better that than over painted.

30/08/21

Sketchbook work tonight.

31/08/21

Never far from thoughts. Doesn’t feel like thirteen years.

VAI Café: Introducing Derry with talks from UV Arts, Void Gallery and CCA Derry.

Power will be off tomorrow so perfect opportunity to catch up on reading and writing.

RDH: JUNE 2021

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03/06/21

Canvas stripping, stretching and some sewing experimentation.

04/06/21

Priming canvas is such a messy business!

05/06/21

Once the work is made, build bridges to your audience.

Artists need to band together!

Anne Imhof - finding refuge in the blur.

Sketched up new canvases.

Sketched up new canvases.

06/06/21

Easily worked up - relax.

09/06/21

Finally getting round to cleaning garage and setting paint out. Asked if I’d like to be featured in a takeover. Chuffed!

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Bit of a mixed bag in studio today. On wooden piece, that image just sucks you in and spits you out! With the large canvas started (‘Man Digging’ - working title) it’s quite a forgiving composition and palette working well so far.

10/06/21

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“An archive of emotions”

Dr. Kate McLean

Didn’t get shortlisted.

11/06/21

12/06/21

Reading group outside this morning.

13/06/21

Some good, solid progress today.

16/06/21

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So grateful to be included in Paint-Tube Dublin by Louise Wallace.

Sketchbook Studies

Sketchbook Studies

18/06/21

First vaccine received today!

19/06/21

studio-shot-19-06-21.jpg

Work on small portrait today - title undecided as yet.

‘The Eternal Bride’ myth.

22/06/21

Memory is forgetting.

A little mid-week push.

23/06/21

“A Brush with … Julian Opie”

So so close to finishing “Moon Boy”.

24/06/21

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Some good sketchbook work this afternoon. Looking forward to getting to Belfast tomorrow.

25/06/21

Great to get into the MAC shows today, sadly didn’t have time to get round anywhere else.

Will have to wait another little while for rings.

26/06/21

Studio time!

“Moon Boy” finished!

30/06/21

Ballyliffen

Ballyliffen

RDH: APRIL 2021

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01/04/21

“A Brush With… Ali Banisadr” - audio-visual synesthesia.

02/04/21

Palette is cleaned and managed to get some good work on “On Gilded Steps”.

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03/04/21

Added some gold aerosol for the edges of the steps. So close to finishing it up. Very frustrating as last week one of the figures that was working the best is now the last piece of the puzzle yet to fit.

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05/04/21

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“On Gilded Steps” finished!

09/04/21

…apparently it was coming but it was a jolt and now a growing sense of uncertainty.

10/04/21

“Seven Types of Ambiguity” by William Empson.

Ambiguity has to be purposeful, holding multiple elements in suspension - that’s when the ambiguity works and has a function.

11/04/21

Such a leap from what was happening last year.

12/04/21

Catch up on webinars. Is ‘brand’ a dirty word?

13/04/21

Episode 27 of “Jo’s Art History Podcast” is live! Always strange to listen to yourself back but I really did enjoy the chat with Jo.

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Some good sketchbook work tonight.

14/04/21

Re-watching Rego Documentary.

“Gathering Thoughts” gathering momentum.

16/04/21

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Quick run to Belfast to lift “Hotel ‘78” from the RUA.

17/04/21

Studio work: less will be more with “G.T.”. Progress made but very slowly. I could have ploughed on this evening but I thought it was best to quit for the day while I was ahead.

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19/04/21

“Leonardo" on Prime. Fast and loose with facts but still fun to watch.

22/04/21

Yesterday saw a long overdue clear-out of the office and the start of a fresh lick of paint.

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25/04/21

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I think I’ve taken “Gathering Thoughts” as far as I can go.

27/04/21

A solemn anniversary.

28/04/21

Submissions made. Fingers crossed. Primed large canvas today which took several coats. Barrow + woman with dogs / butcher?

Starting to get excited by a piece that hasn’t even been started yet.

29/04/21

Decided against ‘woman with dogs’ and ‘butcher’ imagery and opted instead for early biplanes of the RAF. This way I can instead swap scale instead of orientation and hopefully not overcrowd the composition. The red container behind the medics should be kept and then adding the planes using tonal differences / slightly different register. There and not there. Pillers - might be best to paint them out. There will probably be remnants of them as layers are added.

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30/04/21

A broken up sort of day.

RDH: JANUARY 2021

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03/01/21

‘sub cruce salus’

… too simplistic or is it hard to get ideas across?

04/01/21

Need to leave site.

05/01/21

Elevator pitch: use personal and found imagery to explore notions of trauma, memory and experience. (13 words, 83 characters)

imagery with personal connection - greater impact?

large scale drawings = link between sketchbook and canvas.

05/01/21-sketchbook.jpg

06/01/21

FORM —> CONTENT —> FORM —> CONTENT …

Can you distil the feeling of an image?

Play with gesture.

…adding just for the sake doesn’t cut it. Integrate if it adds to a message.

07/01/21

Hillsborough

Hillsborough

08/01/21

Growing uncertainty in other areas is just leading to this “deer in headlights” feeling.

09/01/21

Lists are all well and good but to get making again ; that’s what it’s all about.

“Shock” looking good thus far.

“Shock” looking good thus far.

10/01/21

Passionate about painting / drawing and interplay between the mark-making of both processes… juxtaposing imagery. How do they sit together?

11/01/21

Still have to show though.

12/01/21

Detail of “Shock” - finished today - Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

Detail of “Shock” - finished today - Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

13/01/21

“As an artist you leave a trace of yourself.”

- Mira Schor

Magnets came and work a treat!

Sketchbook work: 13/01/21

Sketchbook work: 13/01/21

16/01/21

A little slow to get in today but four canvas pieces off the starting block which makes up for it.

studio-shot-16-01-21.jpg

18/01/21

18-01-21-sketchbook.jpg

21/01/21

…in a jar for the day.

23/01/21

Forgetown Bridge

Forgetown Bridge

25/01/21

Sketchbook work

minotaur.jpg

27/01/21

…days just melting into each other.

fog.jpg

28/01/21

Not one but two zooms this evening.

29/01/21

Some surprising paint down today. Loosely does it.

Detail of work in progress.

Detail of work in progress.

30/01/21

Cold.

Sketchbook work this evening,

Sketchbook work this evening,

NOTE: Check out the music of Nadine Shah.

31/01/21

One clean palette and one sore head.

RDH: AUGUST 2020

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01/08/20

chris-ledger-ida-2018.jpg

So saddened to hear of the passing of Chris Ledger. She was a true friend of the arts in NI and helped me in both a professional and personal capacity. Her tenacity and drive will be sorely missed.

02/08/20

Cleaning and priming.

Cleaning and priming.

03/08/20

‘Seashore Jester’ … over-painted to the point of no return - burnt and slashed. Good progress on “Enfield Study” though.

Close up of “Enfield Study”.

Close up of “Enfield Study”.

It’s finally happened! I’ve had a little painting accepted into this year’s RUA exhibition!

04/08/20

Wee day off.

05/08/20

“Enfield Study” finished.

“Enfield Study” finished.

Watched ‘Apocalypse Now’ properly for the first time. The real animal sacrifice at the end was disturbing.

06/08/20

Sketched out some new canvases including a narrow set for a triptych.

studio-show-06-08-20.jpg

Object connected to the figure rather than the figure itself so may need to rethink the centre canvas.

…a few people have told me how “Enfield Study” disturbs them and makes them feel uncomfortable. So a job well done.

07/08/20

Lots of blocking in compositions today.

Lots of blocking in compositions today.

10/08/20

Greenberg vs Read (HANDBAGS!)

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Some studio time today. Almost too warm.

12/08/20

Left up “Hotel ‘78” to the RUA today.

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Sketchbook work.

14/08/20

Jenny Saville in the “A Brush With” podcast is great!

When asked what is art for, Saville replies:

“Art is for life. Art is for survival. You know it’s a shock of recognition that you feel a sense of belonging you recognise yourself in the world. I really believe it’s for survival. It’s intrinsic to being human. We either have to make marks or it’s like singing or making music. It’s fundamental to being a human being. I can’t imagine doing anything else. When I’m in the process of painting I feel very in touch with myself in a sense that nothing else I’ve ever done in my life does.”

Satellite paths

Satellite paths

16/08/20

Nothing the past few days due to another trip to the hospital.

18/08/20

One year to go.

19/08/20

finished-exhibits-a-to-c.jpg

Finished “Exhibits A to C”. Good to get painting again after a little setback. Chuffed to be names Catalyst Art’s Member of the Month for August!

20/08/20

Some good studio time in today.

21/08/20

“A painting which is from a specific photograph - you have to go beyond the photograph so you have to make the paint do something and once it gets a nature of itself then it belongs to the world and it takes a long time to get be in that field.”

Jenny Saville (link for interview here)

23/08/20

“Avarice is the enemy of virtue.”

Leon Battista Alberti

sketchbook-work-23-08-20.jpg

Sketching and mostly failing.

25/08/20

Studio time but nothing too strenuous.

Great to have a virtual catch up with UoA folk!

29/08/20

Trauma is inarticulate.

Some good progress on “But I Don’t Get It”. Still flat in areas but it’s nearly there.

Some good progress on “But I Don’t Get It”. Still flat in areas but it’s nearly there.

31/08/20

Finished “B.I.D.G.I.”

Finished “B.I.D.G.I.”

RDH: NOVEMBER 2019

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01/11/19

… good job I checked…

Sketching today but no joy. How to move past this?

02/11/19

A good tidy up in the studio. “H” going well.

03/11/19

jan-gorman-wire-wool.jpeg

Helping Jan with some wire-wool spinning experiments.

11/11/19

diver-sketch.jpg

Recording today and some solid sketchbook time. It’s so important. It is where ideas form and lay roots.

15/11/19

“Long years of secrecy have turned their faces into masks.” - not sure where I heard this from.

16/11/19

Detail of “Helen” - oil and charcoal on canvas.

Detail of “Helen” - oil and charcoal on canvas.

“Helen” finished up.

17/11/19

Consciously hold back images.

EMPATHY

22/11/19

What am I doing?

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24/11/19

sketchbook-work-24-11-19.jpg

Sketchbook work.

25/11/19

“The Art Advocate” podcast - episode 8 is live!

28/11/19

Bizarre

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Delighted to have been commended in the Moth Art Prize 2019!

29/11/19

“Real painters understand with a brush in their hand.”

Berthe Morisot

Need to try and make one little hour of creative work each weekday.

30/11/19

What a difference a boiler makes!

RDH: JULY 2019

01/07/19

Slow but important work on “Bogland” today. Thinking a lot about Sickert.

It’s been a rough week but finally seeing positives.

Sketchbook time.

02/07/19

Meditate and Release.

03/07/19

Found ‘failed’ middle panel of “Pioneer Studies”. Works on it’s own merit. Must have been a weak link at the time.

Rework maybe?

Rework maybe?

04/07/19

Submission sent. A glutton for punishment.

06/07/19

Bit later in the day for studio time but spent longer tonight to make up for it.

Some texture with sawdust.

Some texture with sawdust.

Colours are popping and really contrast from the blurred background. Still trying to maintain the mantra of “MAKE EVERY PAINTING A STUDY” but it’s hard when the focal point is a figure where it seems to be falling short.

More integration of sawdust needed? Question everything?

The smallest brush in the arsenal.

The smallest brush in the arsenal.

07/07/19

Didn’t get to sleep until 5am. It’s not my fault.

Crisp morning breeze. Brought a rose in.

Staring at work, the foreground, which I tolerated a few weeks ago, now seems flat. Texture, perspective and overlapping of light and shade required.

09/07/19

A.A.H.

10/07/19

13/07/19

Ballydugan Mill

Ballydugan Mill

14/07/19

Amazing day at G &N’s wedding yesterday! Trying to get a bit of studio work in now before a much needed early night!

struggling-face.jpg

Frustrating. Two steps forward, two steps back. No better off but not worse off either.

15/07/19

“Never mind that nobody bought them! Do them! Tell your story!”

Faith Ringgold


“He who follows is always behind.”

Paul Cézanne

16/07/19

How to get back in the creative mindset?

19/07/19

“Asking for Trouble” - pen on paper

“Asking for Trouble” - pen on paper

‘What gets measured gets done’ is a quote is heard rattled around today.

20/07/19

Plenty of little niggly bits to run through. Let’s not fall into that usual trap of realism!

“I.N.A.R.P.”

Am I focusing too much on that main figure?

b.s.r. detail

Right… don’t panic!

22/07/19

Strange birthday. Nothing bad, just strange.

Beautiful sketchbook from Jan.

Beautiful sketchbook from Jan.

23/07/19

Didn’t get through. Plough on!

25/07/19

Intense building.

27/07/19

Trying not to waste to so much paint. Working on “Sack Race” - shadows and sack texture.

“Ferryman”: painterly background. Leaving it early.

“Ferryman”: painterly background. Leaving it early.

28/07/19

“As an artist you should be the one to sing off key.”

Nicholas Hlobo

drawing-work-28-07-19

A non-studio art day. Starting new sketchbook. Smaller sale seems to suit drawing technique. I think I came to this realisation some time ago but it must have slipped the memory.

cindy-sherman-untitled-bbc-arena-documentary

Arena’s Cindy Sherman: #untitled was great! Chameleon. Film stills and centre pieces are still some of my favourite works.

29/07/19

imagine-olafur-eliasson

“I trust you to make the narrative”

Olafur Eliasson

31/07/19

“Art can offer a chance for self examination”

Olafur Eliasson

31-07-19-sketchbook-work

RDH: 01/10/18 - 31/10/18

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01/10/18

… of interest. Attainable small steps to reach big goals.

02/10/18

Delivery mix up.

05/10/18

Booked VAI speed curating slots for November.

…LA… fingers crossed!

06/10/18

initials in ogham

initials in ogham

Experiment in the studio with a degree of success. When a fine layer of fixative is lit on the paintings surface, areas of the canvas that are predominantly charcoal or thin layers of colour are singed and blister - creating an interesting effect. Safety first though.

Jan is right —> the lighter background to “Pioneer” was more unsettling. Rectify.

studio-shot-06-10-18.JPG

07/10/18

Staring at “Pioneer”. I think I’m hesitant because its… I don’t know. I think the colours are too similar between light and shade. By the same token - you don’t want it to become too contrasting and cartoonish. A foreign colour introduced into the third panel may point a direction.

third-panel-pioneers.JPG

Flying by the seat of pants but you can’t control the spontaneous. Some detailed work today. It is getting there. Attention directed towards other matters.

… paintings and clusters of drawings - like a shotgun spread of memories. Jumbled - linked yet conflicting. Fighting for dominance.

\\\THE TRAUMA PARADOX\\\

08/10/18

Just realised a connection between “AMATGS” and the ivy crown. Oedipus plays would have been played during the festival of Dionysus - who is associated with a crown of ivy.

09/10/18

“ I gave myself permission to follow my voice and that’s what my whole career has been. I still give myself permission and no compromise. I compromised before but not when I became an artist.” Mark Bradford

10/10/18

World Mental Health Day.

11/10/18

studio-shot-11-10-18.JPG

13/10/18

“Into The Void Magazine” submission successful!

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Sketchbook work and now watching the original ‘Suspiria’ for the first time.

suspiria-titles.JPG

14/10/18

Notes finished for presentation. Pleased with burning effect on triptych.

… was suggested something on Friday. Well it was more of a dialogue regarding “Pioneer”; the first and last sections work. They’re strong but the one that should be the strongest and the anchor, the middle piece is way behind. Changing from a triptych to a diptych? Leave it for a while - continue working on all three before abandoning the middle piece.

Using ash as a painting/drawing medium. Religious links? Why do ideas come in the final minutes of the day? Processing process.

18/10/18

On way to Dublin. Looking forward to talking about work in DLR Lexicon. Not nervous. Yet.

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Just saw the most beautiful fox casually strolling across a field outside Armagh.

I’ve been skirting around issues. The ‘recall’ notion might be worth exploring again. Drawing. Painting. Video. Audio.

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The DLR Lexicon is stunning. Really enjoyed the other talks - especially work of Cecilia Bullo.

19/10/18

Yesterday’s trip and talks were great. Just wish I had more time to go around some of Dublin’s galleries when I was down. Decided it was best to drop the middle canvas in “Pioneer Studies”. Finished the other two pieces and happy with the results.

pioneer-detail.JPG

20/10/18

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A little tweaking to “Afore the Stoop”.
Dad suffered a bleeding eye following his operation.

22/10/18

Have been neglecting practice and methods during the week. Ards - it seems a long way off but it will fly in.

Keeping your finger on the pulse is no bad thing.

24/10/18

Personal history is a source - not the explanation. ‘imagine…’ with Tracey Emin on iPlayer was insightful. Have a new found respect for Emin’s practice and quite like a few of some of her new paintings.

27/10/18

No paints were used today but three canvases were started. The smallest piece - I don’t think will have legs. As a drawing it is strong but I feel it won’t work on canvas. I’ve drawn up “Bereft Clown” again - a different size to the previous square stretcher. Will see how it goes. The third canvas is the one I’m most excited about. It’s a merging of two images but in a slightly different way. First is an image of a German officer stationed in a concentration camp. The other is a negative of a confession screen. The idea is to project light through the lattice onto the portrait. Fright Night in the jungle was great fun!

fright-night-two.jpg

28/10/18

Slept so much. Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

confessional-wip.JPG

31/10/18

Spacing error.

“I’m really interested in creating moments of ‘push and pull’ in paintings and having different registers of imagery with different surface qualities - so one thing might be compositionally in the foreground but materially might be being subsumed by whats behind it.” Helen Johnson

RDH: 01/07/18 - 31/07/18

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01/07/18

Crunching numbers.

02/07/18

... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

03/07/18

TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT

04/07/18

Shocked. Head spirals backwards.  Sketchbook work today.

05/07/18

'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death

...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

1:  Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.

2:  Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.

3:  Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).

Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!

07/07/18

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

rough sketch for an installation idea

rough sketch for an installation idea

08/07/18

A research day.

A research day.

09/07/18

Studio wall

Studio wall

Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.

10/07/18

"Traumatic Memory"

trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.

11/07/18

NOTES from Psychology texts:

"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."

A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.

Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)

Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.

12/07/18

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Sketchbook work today.  Little steps are better than no steps at all.

13/07/18

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Stretched a few canvases today.

14/07/18

detail of landscape in progress

detail of landscape in progress

Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.

15/07/18

;

16/07/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today.  Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.

17/07/18

"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas

18/07/18

A delivery of paints came today

A delivery of paints came today

19/07/18

"Lost Illusions" by Balzac

20/07/18

A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!

21/07/18

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

22/07/18

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

23/07/18

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

Too many ideas floating around.

NB:  To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand.  Can't do any harm.

A five minute self portrait study

A five minute self portrait study

24/07/18

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry.  Still so powerful.  The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides.  It is so important.  So glad to have seen it again.

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.

Imagine... Rose Wylie on BBC iPlayer

...where presence is evident...

"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie

25/07/18

The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively.  Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.

Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018.  Fingers crossed!

26/07/18

"What's for you won't go past you."

Progress on a small painting study

Progress on a small painting study

TAL R on Louisiana Channel

"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R

27/07/18

Four works in progress in the studio

Four works in progress in the studio

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.

candle.JPG

"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R

28/07/18

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Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today.  Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.

31/07/18

university-of-atypical-ida-award-belfastJPG

So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast.  This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance.  Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!

Whoever heard of a Black Artist?" on BBC iPlayer.