truama

RDH: MARCH 2021

04/03/21

It’s been a full on week - trying to ease myself in slowly and find my footing again and knowing my limits.

Evenings = questions

05/03/21

UPDATES

06/03/21

Handwriting is a microcosm of the personality.

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A good start to “The Infamy of Crete”. Muddy palette so far but for now it’s working.

11/03/21

SorT? tech-check. Target -> 1488 (done).

Bullet points for a smooth six minutes.

Could easily fall into the trap of not doing anything this weekend but I know how it would make me feel if nothing was to happen. Try your best - productive variables.

12/03/21

Good God this text is heavy!

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Taking time in the studio. The little pieces of canvas / glass that I’ve been asked to put something on for a student’s project was actually a really good loosening / warming up exercise. I have plenty of little strands laying around and could put paint down / play / experiment / make mistakes for twenty minutes before moving onto wall works. Not a bad idea.

Gold Leaf for step edges possibly?

13/03/21

Some really solid background work to “On Gilded Steps” - a lot of blending work. The scratching around the figures - lets try and keep some of that!

15/03/21

Scanning.

16/03/21

Having to go up above to finish online work just sucks.

18/03/21

Waking up at 4am - chocking. Not good.

WHAT Panel talk

Miriam O’Connor: different coping mechanisms - access to the studio so important - adaptability key to productivity - art to navigate trauma in life - art practice is tool for survival

Austin Ivers: teetering between the two poles of anxiety and boredom.

19/03/21

Really enjoyed taking part in the panel talk yesterday and the podcast is out today. So happy it was recorded before my voice left me completely.

Some more work to “On Gilded Steps” today.

Some more work to “On Gilded Steps” today.

20/03/21

Darkness in control.

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O.G.S.” - Steps are really annoying me. In hindsight I probably would have set the steps differently. now, however, with the background nearly prefect as it is, it could be a disaster to try and adjust the steps and lose that backdrop. I have this painting by Rembrandt rolling around in my head at the minute.

“The Conspiracy of the Batavians under Claudius Civilis” - Rembrandt - 1661/1662

The Conspiracy of the Batavians under Claudius Civilis” - Rembrandt - 1661/1662

What a game!

21/03/21

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Should the bull’s head go black? - went a little too far with it today but it’s fixable.

25/03/21

Scaling sketches down in scanner is probably a good move. A few good drawings of old family photos tonight.

26/03/21

T.I.O.C.” looks more like an etching at the minute.

Loose! Emphasis on LOOSE!

27/03/21

Last night was a total nightmare. Floating, panic and chased by a hooded killer. Once caught a falling sensation would wake me up but once I dozed of I was straight back into the nightmare and repeated this process around four or five times.

‘Create and curate your own archive’.

Farewell Fernand.

28/03/21

Marta Dyezkowska Talk

memory / identity / trauma

We should be able to close the door on loss.

Standing with back to camera, an act of defiance against process. Mix memory with current state.

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Really enjoyed this talk today! Watching and listening in made me really nostalgic about LOFT. We should be proud of what we were able to achieve with that space.

29/03/21

The infamy of Crete” - finished. Not perfect but pretty solid.

30/03/21

Little bit of “T.I.O.C.” was really bugging me so I crept into the studio and fixed it last night.

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Today was a case of drawing up a few smaller works and putting down basic paint layers. A promising start.

31/03/21

A quick up and down trip to Belfast for an appointment.

RDH: 01/10/18 - 31/10/18

01/10/18

… of interest. Attainable small steps to reach big goals.

02/10/18

Delivery mix up.

05/10/18

Booked VAI speed curating slots for November.

…LA… fingers crossed!

06/10/18

initials in ogham

initials in ogham

Experiment in the studio with a degree of success. When a fine layer of fixative is lit on the paintings surface, areas of the canvas that are predominantly charcoal or thin layers of colour are singed and blister - creating an interesting effect. Safety first though.

Jan is right —> the lighter background to “Pioneer” was more unsettling. Rectify.

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07/10/18

Staring at “Pioneer”. I think I’m hesitant because its… I don’t know. I think the colours are too similar between light and shade. By the same token - you don’t want it to become too contrasting and cartoonish. A foreign colour introduced into the third panel may point a direction.

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Flying by the seat of pants but you can’t control the spontaneous. Some detailed work today. It is getting there. Attention directed towards other matters.

… paintings and clusters of drawings - like a shotgun spread of memories. Jumbled - linked yet conflicting. Fighting for dominance.

\\\THE TRAUMA PARADOX\\\

08/10/18

Just realised a connection between “AMATGS” and the ivy crown. Oedipus plays would have been played during the festival of Dionysus - who is associated with a crown of ivy.

09/10/18

“ I gave myself permission to follow my voice and that’s what my whole career has been. I still give myself permission and no compromise. I compromised before but not when I became an artist.” Mark Bradford

10/10/18

World Mental Health Day.

11/10/18

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13/10/18

“Into The Void Magazine” submission successful!

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Sketchbook work and now watching the original ‘Suspiria’ for the first time.

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14/10/18

Notes finished for presentation. Pleased with burning effect on triptych.

… was suggested something on Friday. Well it was more of a dialogue regarding “Pioneer”; the first and last sections work. They’re strong but the one that should be the strongest and the anchor, the middle piece is way behind. Changing from a triptych to a diptych? Leave it for a while - continue working on all three before abandoning the middle piece.

Using ash as a painting/drawing medium. Religious links? Why do ideas come in the final minutes of the day? Processing process.

18/10/18

On way to Dublin. Looking forward to talking about work in DLR Lexicon. Not nervous. Yet.

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Just saw the most beautiful fox casually strolling across a field outside Armagh.

I’ve been skirting around issues. The ‘recall’ notion might be worth exploring again. Drawing. Painting. Video. Audio.

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The DLR Lexicon is stunning. Really enjoyed the other talks - especially work of Cecilia Bullo.

19/10/18

Yesterday’s trip and talks were great. Just wish I had more time to go around some of Dublin’s galleries when I was down. Decided it was best to drop the middle canvas in “Pioneer Studies”. Finished the other two pieces and happy with the results.

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20/10/18

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A little tweaking to “Afore the Stoop”.
Dad suffered a bleeding eye following his operation.

22/10/18

Have been neglecting practice and methods during the week. Ards - it seems a long way off but it will fly in.

Keeping your finger on the pulse is no bad thing.

24/10/18

Personal history is a source - not the explanation. ‘imagine…’ with Tracey Emin on iPlayer was insightful. Have a new found respect for Emin’s practice and quite like a few of some of her new paintings.

27/10/18

No paints were used today but three canvases were started. The smallest piece - I don’t think will have legs. As a drawing it is strong but I feel it won’t work on canvas. I’ve drawn up “Bereft Clown” again - a different size to the previous square stretcher. Will see how it goes. The third canvas is the one I’m most excited about. It’s a merging of two images but in a slightly different way. First is an image of a German officer stationed in a concentration camp. The other is a negative of a confession screen. The idea is to project light through the lattice onto the portrait. Fright Night in the jungle was great fun!

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28/10/18

Slept so much. Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

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31/10/18

Spacing error.

“I’m really interested in creating moments of ‘push and pull’ in paintings and having different registers of imagery with different surface qualities - so one thing might be compositionally in the foreground but materially might be being subsumed by whats behind it.” Helen Johnson