RDH: NOVEMBER 2021

03/11/21

Some good sketchbook work today.

04/11/21

First room in Golden Thread show

Mark McGreevy (l) and Dougal McKenzie (r)

National Common Sense Day. “Portrait of NI: Neither an elegy nor a manifesto” in the Golden Thread Gallery. Interesting layout, gathering work of a similar ilk throughout the decades together.

Anne Tallentire at the MAC

Charys Wilson in QSS

Anne Tallentire’s “But this material…” in the MAC; great use of spatial interaction with the work and the gallery space. Some really strong work in “The presence of Absence” exhibition from the MFA 2019 cohort group show in QSS.

Really enjoyed the opening of the “Salonathon Show 2021” in Platform - seeing my work alongside some great artists and meeting up with familiar faces!

05/11/21

Wincing the odd time.

06/11/21

“Portraiture exposes the gap between the interior and exterior selves.”

-unknown-

Priming is all today amounted to.

08/11/21

Didn’t realise the gravity…

11/11/21

What was thought to be a dud - must have turned out alright!

12/11/21

Several pieces sketched up today.

13/11/21

Detail of “The Doctor will See you Now”

Really good day in the studio. “The Doctor will see you Now” finished! This new philosophy of keeping it loose, not striving for a realistic perfection, which is ultimately unattainable anyway, seems to be working.

I have a tendency of focussing on niggles to the point when the paintings get tight and the imagery too self aware. Learning to let go and step back a stage or two sooner seems to work for me.

“The Doctor will See you Now” Oil and Charcoal on Canvas 150cm x 100cm

16/11/21

Didn’t get accepted but that’s OK. Sketchbook work tonight to get brain working.

17/11/21

"Tilt [At Windmills]" in CCA

"Tilt [At Windmills]" in CCA

Very quick trip up to Derry to see “Tilt [At Windmills]” with work by Jarkko Räsänen, Fionnuala Doran, Paul Moore and Robin Price in CCA and “The Shrinking Universe” by Eva Rothschild in VOID.

"The Shrinking Universe" at VOID

"The Shrinking Universe" at VOID

20/11/21

Blocking in and working out logistics on three pieces today.

29/11/21

Nervous but that’s pretty much down to the unknown factor.

RDH: JULY 2020

01/07/20

Some more Matisse-inspired bamboo work for shapes in the foreground and that’s the large painting finished! Title to be confirmed later.

02/07/20

Abrupt awakening.

So “The Hill of the Red Witch” it is. Very close.

Eventually got some good ground work down on two new pieces. Some human hair included.

Painter Julie Curtiss (Instagram: @julietuyetcurtiss) joins us for New Social Environment #77, hosted by Rail Editor at Large Jason Rosenfeld (Instagram: @jm...

Great Julie Curtiss talk with Brooklyn Rail.

03/07/20

LOFT

2013 - 2015: 14 works (over 3 years)

LISNAMUCK

2016 - 2018: 36 works (over 3 years)

2019 - June 2020: 16 works (in 18 months)

That’s crazy!

04/07/20

Really pleased with “Left Out” thus far but the mouth on “RPM” is really annoying me!

05/07/20

QUESTIONS

07/07/20

Working out left hand on “L.O.” is tough. It’s not the shape of it but the lay of the fingers that’s the bother. Pre-mixing … is needed to unify the hands and face. It’s the difference in definition between the upper and lower hands that are jarring a bit.

Days that just don’t go your way. THUMB NEEDS TO BE A FRACTION LONGER!

08/07/20

Working method today is attacking the canvas in micro stages.

NON FINITO = nice idea.

Does something have to look finished before being deemed complete?

Detail of “Left Out”

…I limped home tonight. Painted for nearly 11 hours. Not sure if “Left Out” is done, but it’s bloody close.

09/07/20

… Yes it’s there!

Good drawing time this evening.

10/07/20

Priming, studio cleaning and two little pieces drawn up. Interior one has promise.

11/07/20

The Ruination of the World.

“Rock Pool Memory” - the original drawing is not exact and so the dimensions are a little skew-whiff. Possibly why the painting is not coming together.

12/07/20

Horrible day painting but at least it beats not doing anything at all! “Rock Pool Memory” is just that - a memory.

A sense of critical…. ?

14/07/20

Such as strange pain down arms and shoulders last night. Shake it off or…

Trip to A&E - allergic reaction to insect bites. The usual then.

15/07/20

Studio time.

High contrast in BT’s face might be best avoided. Playing around right now just.

Nice chat with Chloe, Dominic and Niamh - some interesting discussions.

16/07/20

“Hotel ‘78” complete. [] is right - something slightly different about it. Softer maybe.

A nice dull background on “Seashore Jester”.

17/07/20

Applied … again.

18/07/20

Solid studio day. Resurrected “Rock Pool Memory”. Tonal values not there on “Seashore Jester” just yet but happy enough so far. Stumbled across the old Enfield painting that I abandoned four years ago. Decided to give it another crack.

19/07/20

21/07/20

Been a few days of home improvements.

24/07/20

Sketched out little commission and cleaned out palette.

Our friend, interdisciplinary artist Martha Tuttle (@marthatuttle) joins us for a conversation with scholar and curator, Susan Harris in New Social Environme...

Martha Tuttle talk on Brooklyn Rail excellent! Links to antiquity and the tactility of the work is fascinating.

26/07/20

The past few days I’ve literally been going round in circles with “Rock Pool Memory”. Originally I thought executing the proportions properly would have solved any issues that were cropping up but no. I think I’m in two/three minds as to how to approach it so perhaps shelving it isn’t a bad idea for now.

27/07/20

I think it’s important to take a step back sometimes and focus on other elements of practice. So today is a drawing and research day.

“ARS LONGA, VITA BREVIS”

“ART IS LONG, LIFE IS SHORT” the reversed first two lines of Hippocrates’ ‘Aphorismi’

Nearly six hours of sketchbook work today.

28/07/20

Did not expect to but “Rock Pool Memory” is finished. It really has been an unprecedented time of creativity. Silver lining in a weird and unnerving time.

“Rock Pool Memory” finished.

29/07/20

The Troxler Effect - monsters in the mirror.

Treated myself to some art books.

30/07/20

Detail of ‘Enfield’ painting in progress

Short stint today, Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

31/07/20

Parts looks OK and then others are close to the point of madness. At least the dead crab looks well.

RDH: MARCH 2020

01/03/20

Focus turns to show opening.

03/03/20

Spend a little time looking and you might find a way in. Now at that limbo stage with “No Remorse”. Compositionally solid but colours and painterly gestures are off.

Surprising bound forward on “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Face is mask-like (maybe a good thing?)

05/03/20

Nervous as hell. First stop - Ursula Burke in the Ulster Museum. Wonderful scope and the wall mural is stunning. A quick jaunt into town - in GT’s “Dissolving Histories” I especially liked Stuart Calvin’s work. Great to see Dougal McKenzie’s project space show “More Bad News”. Beautiful little touches.

Ursula Burns in the Ulster Museum

"Dissolving Histories" in the Golden Thread

"Dissolving Histories" in the Golden Thread

"More Bad News" by Dougal McKenzie

"Songs and the Soil" by Mark Garry in the MAC

Next onto the MAC for Mark Garry’s “Songs and the Soil”. Placed over the three galleries, the work is immersive and stunning.

"Confessional" install in Atypical Gallery

Before the doors opened in Atypical

Myself and Dad under "Crown of Dionysus"

Helped with the last little touches to the show prep. Great turnout for Late Night Art and the feedback has knocked me back - in the best possible way. Really not good at taking compliments. Marcus Keeley came by for a chat in the store room for his “Instant Feedback” podcast.

06/03/20

Wee stay with Jane. A beautiful house and a beautiful soul. Finally got to visit QSS for “Four Female Painters” exhibition. Amazing space and great work. Alana Barton’s piece “Blossom” made me cry and not even ashamed to say it. It struck a nerve. The delicacy of the child’s little fingers touching the adult’s hair. Beautifully painted.

"Blossom" by Alana Barton

"Four Female Painters" show in QSS

Took myself back to re-watch Mark Garry’s videos in the MAC. The close up recordings of the horses is haunting and strangely intimate.

08/03/20

Few days off but little updates online here and there.

11/03/20

Sketchbook work

14/03/20

Scary times. Back to the looking phase. It seems to help.

Self Portrait: face is still very mask-like. Reminds me of a still from “Les yeux sans visage”.

…knowing when to quit for the day is important.

15/03/20

Slow burning day but when I eventually got to studio and began making real progress, the power goes off!

Serves me right for getting ahead of myself.

“No Remorse” in progress

16/03/20

The “In Conversation” that was to take place with the show in Atypical has rightly been postponed due to ongoing circumstances.

18/03/20

Have to self-isolate for 14 days. The worries mount.

22/03/20

Sketchbook work for the first time in 11 days. Feels like a lifetime.

Is there a better, more cohesive way to go about the drawing side of practice?

I think immediacy, or the notion of immediacy, is still important.

24/03/20

Transferred some recent drawings to acetate.

STEP UP!

25/03/20

Studio time with Radiohead.

26/03/20

A bit of sketching but mainly organising imagery.

“There’s no point in worryin’ what ye can’t control.”

BAK

“No Remorse” is finished. There are parts that still annoy but all in all pleased to it’s best to leave it and move on.

28/03/20

Pushing and pulling with “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Frustrating but really fun at the same time!

29/03/20

Cleaning palette and studio up. Also stripped the background of “SPwS”. Too similar to the skin tones and made the canvas seem quite flat.

30/03/20

So bloody close!

31/03/20

Last day of quarantine.

Great to take part in the VAI online café and to get an insight into Tinka Bechert’s wonderful work.

“SPwS” finished. It is very wonky as it’s taken from a very wonky sketch from a few years ago but there’s something about the sketch that made me want to try and develop it into a painting for quite some time.

RDH: OCTOBER 2019

01/10/19

“A puncture - a level of emotion” - Zarina Bhimji

Mental health does not and should not define who we are.

Work is dropped off to Newtownards!

03/10/19

Umbrella destroyed by storm but the opening of “Bardo” was great. Great support from friends and a wonderful text written by Gemma Murphy.

09/10/19

“Sress is the killer of creativity” - Jamian Juliano Villani

Good sketchbook session tonight.

11/10/19

Doodles to burn.

12/10/19

‘Cooley’ is gone. Very stale so had to go. A really old image of Helen has replaced it. It’s been a long time since I attempted this image.

Mask and orchard idea. Sucker for attempting old failures.

17/10/19

Placed…

The prodigal ipod returns after nearly a year missing.

19/10/19

“Study of Helen” - image is nine years old and I’ve tried to tackle it many many times but only now does it feel like I am making any sort of headway. Difficult to describe. “No Regrets” - push and pull between the two images.

20/10/19

Conscious decision to limit the palette initially. Sometimes there can be too much choice - especially when starting a new piece. Thinking that by limiting colour in the first stages it can help focus in on tonal values and composition a little more.

“No Regrets” - Painting in progress

Weekends aren’t long enough.

24/10/19

Couple kissing under a dark sky.

Geometric lines turn from canvas folds to forks of lightning.

Portrait with slightly opened lips.

26/10/19

Joy Gerrard

Zoë Murdoch

Ciaran Harper

Alana Barton

Cornelia Parker

Very impressed with the RUA show this year. Some really strong works. Also great to check out the Ulster Museum’s new acquisition of Cornelia Parker.

Troy Michie

Elliott Jerome Brown Jr.

‘On Refusal’ in the MAC is brilliant - especially Troy Michie’s stunning collages.

David Sherry’s ‘Philosophical Society’ in the Golden Thread Gallery was a lot of fun!

Some unexpected speed curating from VAI was good fun and great to meet up with old friends.

27/10/19

Little visit to Fiona Stewart’s fabulous studio to be recorded for an upcoming podcast.

30/10/19

Applications.

RDH: MARCH 2019

02/03/19

“The Ivy Crown" progress.

Struggling with “Bereft Clown”. I think it’s too contrived. Another image overlay maybe?

"Bereft Clown" - overlay

"Ruins" - detail

"The Lost Woods Study"

Adding another image automatically forces you to simplify the composition in a way so that just the essentials are left.

Loosening up on “Ruins”. Music really makes a difference in the studio for me.

The imagery may be personal but the doors are left open. Viewers bringing their own experiences / ideas to the work is paramount.

Don’t like the word ‘style’. It’s too certain of itself.

03/03/19

“Sack Race”

Bit better productivity wise.

07/03/19

“Guardian Study”

Sketchbook work tonight.

08/03/19

…has “Bereft Clown” gone the way of the dodo yet again? Is it stifling and holding me back? Even just setting it aside for a week or two could help.

09/03/19

"Ruins" - Detail of Child

"Rose" - Work in Progress

Temporarily removed the shrub in “Ruins”.

10/03/19

Pablo the Monstera

15/03/19

Lynda Benglis doesn’t make work for other people or for specific shows but purely out of curiosity.

“The Boatman”

Attempted some sketchbook work - hit and miss - mostly miss.

16/03/19

Cake tin for the sky disc. I think it’s a good idea to get closer to the colour scheme in my head than what is on the canvas at the moment.

20/03/19

21/03/19

“Quick Call”

Sketchbook work.

23/03/19

In the studio where I’m happiest. Even if it’s not working well it’s about going through the process.

Detail of a weeping willow.

A good bit of experimentation today but heading in the right direction nonetheless.

24/03/19

"Regal Nest" ideas

"Tarnished" ideas

Corita Kent rules:

1. Find a place you trust and then try trusting it for a while.

2. General duties of a student: Pull everything out of your teacher. Pull everything out of your fellow students.

3. General duties of a teacher: Pull everything out of your students.

4. Consider everything an experiment.

5. Be self disciplined. This means finding someone wise or smart and choosing to follow them. To be disciplined is to follow in a good way. To be self disciplined is to follow in a better way.

6. Nothing is a mistake. There’s no win and no fail. There’s only make.

7. The only rule is work. If you work it will lead to something. It’s the people who do all of the work all of the time who eventually catch on to things.

8. Don’t try to create and analyse at the same time. They are different processes.

9. Be happy whenever you can manage it. Enjoy yourself. It’s lighter than you think.

10. “We’re breaking all the rules. Even our own rules. And how do we do that? By leaving room for X quantities.” - John Cage.

Helpful hints: Always be around. Come or go to everything. Always go to classes. Read anything you can get your hands on. Look at movies carefully, often. Save everything. It might come in handy later.

There should be new rules next week.

26/03/19

…in my thoughts today.

“If you mix your voice with others’ voices you feel as though you are caught in a hook.

Franz Kafka - “Children on the Road”

27/03/19

So in front of a warm fire and three sleeping dogs, I asked Jan to marry me.

Thankfully she said yes.

30/03/19

A little semblance of normality today: back in the studio.

Less contrast between the sun and sky?

Slowly but surely making progress on the “The Lost Woods Study”.

Detail of “The Lost Woods Study”.

31/03/19

…more work done to “Rose” today.

Detail of “Rose” - work in progress.

RDH: FEBRUARY 2019

01/02/19

Slight change of tact…

02/02/19

03/02/19

Some tonal work on “Bereft Clown”

05/02/19

Lagging behind.

06/02/19

Applications submitted.

09/02/19

DISTRACTIONS leads to NOT DOING WORK leads to FEELINGS OF GUILT leads to DISTRACTIONS leads to NOT DOING WORK leads to FEELINGS OF GUILT leads to DISTRACTIONS leads to NOT DOING WORK leads to FEELINGS OF GUILT leads to DISTRACTIONS leads to NOT DOING WORK leads to FEELINGS OF GUILT leads to DISTRACTIONS leads to NOT DOING WORK leads to FEELINGS OF GUILT leads to DISTRACTIONS leads to NOT DOING WORK leads to FEELINGS OF GUILT leads to … etc etc.

How do you combat this?

“Discipline is key" - JG

Break the cycle by physically setting time aside for practice. Depending on the day of the week and other commitments, the type of productive work will differ.

10/02/19

Cleaning the palette

12/02/19

One good sketch is better than not drawing at all.

16/02/19

“What’s for you won’t go past you.”

Reworked pattern and colours on clown today.

17/02/19

Great to get painting today albeit a little later than I would have liked.

Counting works - didn’t realise there were so many!

23/02/19

Belfast. Great to see the last day of ‘The Question of Feeling at Home’ in PS² - curated by Moran Been-Noon. Bonus to get a run down from Moran about the show and to see Cecilia Bullo’s work in the flesh! Been excited to see it since her talk in the DLR LexIcon last year. Next was a visit to Belfast Exposed for the ACNI collection show with a solo show by Linda Conroy in the upstairs space. Conroy’s work is disturbing and utterly absorbing at the same time. Removing notions of the individual from religious ritual resonated with me personally. Then it was on to ‘Porous Plane’ by Lennon in the Golden Thread Gallery. The sheer scale and vibrancy of the work was immense. In the information leaflet it says that “no knowledge is required to enjoy the beauty of these paintings” and that Lennon “invites each of us to find ourselves and arrive at our own inclusions”. Leaving room for the viewer is something I’m particularly keen on.

Lastly onto the wonderful ‘Alternate Perspective’ in Platform featuring work by Aimee MeLaugh and Karl Hagan. Both reflect on ‘memory, people, places and trauma’. The grandeur of history painting coupled with highly personal and intimate narratives. Wonderful painting exhibition.

"Deconstruction, Reconstruction"

Sarah Smith

PS²

"Third Space" (detail)

Cecilia Bullo

PS²

ACNI Collection

Susan MacWilliam (left) and Peter Richards (right)

Belfast Exposed

"1942" and "1948"

Linda Conroy

Belfast Exposed

"PECH MERLE FUGUE//AL13 MM VII x" (detail)

Lennon

Golden Thread Gallery

"Alternate Perspective"

Karl Hagan and Aimee MeLaugh

Platform Arts

25/02/19

Project profile submitted.

27/02/19

It’s the journey not the destination.

28/02/19

Nearly into third month and nothing really to show for it. Plenty of works in progress but not enough progress being made.

RDH: 01/10/18 - 31/10/18

01/10/18

… of interest. Attainable small steps to reach big goals.

02/10/18

Delivery mix up.

05/10/18

Booked VAI speed curating slots for November.

…LA… fingers crossed!

06/10/18

initials in ogham

Experiment in the studio with a degree of success. When a fine layer of fixative is lit on the paintings surface, areas of the canvas that are predominantly charcoal or thin layers of colour are singed and blister - creating an interesting effect. Safety first though.

Jan is right —> the lighter background to “Pioneer” was more unsettling. Rectify.

07/10/18

Staring at “Pioneer”. I think I’m hesitant because its… I don’t know. I think the colours are too similar between light and shade. By the same token - you don’t want it to become too contrasting and cartoonish. A foreign colour introduced into the third panel may point a direction.

Flying by the seat of pants but you can’t control the spontaneous. Some detailed work today. It is getting there. Attention directed towards other matters.

… paintings and clusters of drawings - like a shotgun spread of memories. Jumbled - linked yet conflicting. Fighting for dominance.

\\\THE TRAUMA PARADOX\\\

08/10/18

Just realised a connection between “AMATGS” and the ivy crown. Oedipus plays would have been played during the festival of Dionysus - who is associated with a crown of ivy.

09/10/18

“ I gave myself permission to follow my voice and that’s what my whole career has been. I still give myself permission and no compromise. I compromised before but not when I became an artist.” Mark Bradford

10/10/18

World Mental Health Day.

11/10/18

13/10/18

“Into The Void Magazine” submission successful!

Sketchbook work and now watching the original ‘Suspiria’ for the first time.

14/10/18

Notes finished for presentation. Pleased with burning effect on triptych.

… was suggested something on Friday. Well it was more of a dialogue regarding “Pioneer”; the first and last sections work. They’re strong but the one that should be the strongest and the anchor, the middle piece is way behind. Changing from a triptych to a diptych? Leave it for a while - continue working on all three before abandoning the middle piece.

Using ash as a painting/drawing medium. Religious links? Why do ideas come in the final minutes of the day? Processing process.

18/10/18

On way to Dublin. Looking forward to talking about work in DLR Lexicon. Not nervous. Yet.

Just saw the most beautiful fox casually strolling across a field outside Armagh.

I’ve been skirting around issues. The ‘recall’ notion might be worth exploring again. Drawing. Painting. Video. Audio.

The DLR Lexicon is stunning. Really enjoyed the other talks - especially work of Cecilia Bullo.

19/10/18

Yesterday’s trip and talks were great. Just wish I had more time to go around some of Dublin’s galleries when I was down. Decided it was best to drop the middle canvas in “Pioneer Studies”. Finished the other two pieces and happy with the results.

20/10/18

A little tweaking to “Afore the Stoop”.
Dad suffered a bleeding eye following his operation.

22/10/18

Have been neglecting practice and methods during the week. Ards - it seems a long way off but it will fly in.

Keeping your finger on the pulse is no bad thing.

24/10/18

Personal history is a source - not the explanation. ‘imagine…’ with Tracey Emin on iPlayer was insightful. Have a new found respect for Emin’s practice and quite like a few of some of her new paintings.

27/10/18

No paints were used today but three canvases were started. The smallest piece - I don’t think will have legs. As a drawing it is strong but I feel it won’t work on canvas. I’ve drawn up “Bereft Clown” again - a different size to the previous square stretcher. Will see how it goes. The third canvas is the one I’m most excited about. It’s a merging of two images but in a slightly different way. First is an image of a German officer stationed in a concentration camp. The other is a negative of a confession screen. The idea is to project light through the lattice onto the portrait. Fright Night in the jungle was great fun!

28/10/18

Slept so much. Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

31/10/18

Spacing error.

“I’m really interested in creating moments of ‘push and pull’ in paintings and having different registers of imagery with different surface qualities - so one thing might be compositionally in the foreground but materially might be being subsumed by whats behind it.” Helen Johnson

RDH: 01/09/18 - 30/09/18

01/09/18

Detail work to “AMATGS” today.

02/09/18

Lifting unselected works from Belfast.

03/09/18

No point in worrying about things out of your control. Took a while but made good progress in the studio. Gently does it.

Sculpture on my mind.

04/09/18

…mad to think I have two solo shows coming…

Tinker + Research + Ideas = …

What box?

05/09/18

Detail of sketchbook work.

NB: Sketch from objects?

08/09/18

ideas: …soft pink highlights… hints of sandals… bruised colour…

Steps in the right direction. Had a notion to put trees in the background - the nothingness was annoying me. After that attempt and then a further attempt to incorporate reflective lines, i think blank is good. There is plenty going on in and amongst the three figures so to try and confuse it with more ammo may be a mistake.

Gathered objects for perusal. Baby steps.

09/09/18

Seneca on anger documentary. Nero’s tutor. People get angry because they are too hopeful - be more pessimistic and less surprised for misfortune.

Be psychologically prepared from when things go wrong. Dark Symbol - Rudder

“What need is there to weep over parts of life, the whole of it calls for tears.” - Seneca

10/09/18

Playing about with mirror effects.

Change to background. Neutral this time and I think it will work. There was a muck up when I went to put the blood moon back in and I tried to rectify the warmer tones on the upper right or the neutral colour but was then reminded of a quote by Rose Wylie: “I think you’re a lot happier if you don’t mind a bit of imperfection.” It feeds into the Seneca documentary from last night.

11/09/18

Another day filled with distractions.

12/09/18

Eventually got round to doing some sketchbook development.

An afternoon of application submissions and sketchbook studies.

15/09/18

Detail of recently finished painting.

Finished “A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife.”

16/09/18

A lazy day.

17/09/18

Some interest. Started triptych.

23/09/18

Amazing weekend at the Loughlin wedding!

24/09/18

Jan mentioned something that I think is important. Doing a little something everyday - even if you think there is no point - is better than doing nothing at all.

25/09/18

A weird impromptu visit. Well-intentioned but very sceptical.

26/09/18

The only absolute constant is change.

29/09/18

Painting Peer Critique Session went really well in the Golden Thread Gallery. Hoping it grows and develops.

30/09/18

Studio work. “Pioneer Studies” - good start. Haven’t done a triptych in a few years. Third canvas is all but there.

Close up of one of the “Pioneer Studies” - work in progress.

RDH: 01/07/18 - 31/07/18

01/07/18

Crunching numbers.

02/07/18

... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

03/07/18

TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT

04/07/18

Shocked. Head spirals backwards.  Sketchbook work today.

05/07/18

'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death

...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

1:  Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.

2:  Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.

3:  Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).

Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!

07/07/18

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

rough sketch for an installation idea

08/07/18

A research day.

09/07/18

Studio wall

Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.

10/07/18

"Traumatic Memory"

trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.

11/07/18

NOTES from Psychology texts:

"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."

A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.

Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)

Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.

12/07/18

Sketchbook work today.  Little steps are better than no steps at all.

13/07/18

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Stretched a few canvases today.

14/07/18

detail of landscape in progress

Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.

15/07/18

;

16/07/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today.  Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.

17/07/18

"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas

18/07/18

A delivery of paints came today

19/07/18

"Lost Illusions" by Balzac

20/07/18

A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!

21/07/18

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

22/07/18

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

23/07/18

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

Too many ideas floating around.

NB:  To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand.  Can't do any harm.

A five minute self portrait study

24/07/18

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry.  Still so powerful.  The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides.  It is so important.  So glad to have seen it again.

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.

Imagine... Rose Wylie on BBC iPlayer

...where presence is evident...

"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie

25/07/18

The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively.  Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.

Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018.  Fingers crossed!

26/07/18

"What's for you won't go past you."

Progress on a small painting study

TAL R on Louisiana Channel

"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R

27/07/18

Four works in progress in the studio

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.

"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R

28/07/18

Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today.  Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.

31/07/18

So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast.  This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance.  Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!

Whoever heard of a Black Artist?" on BBC iPlayer.