trauma

RDH: APRIL 2024

02/04/24

Utilise own advice! Get pro-active!

04/04/24

Not being idle within practice is key.

LNAB

07/04/24

“A Brush With… Nalini Malani”

…slippage of imagery…

Clothing detail work on “Last Fancy Dress” and a promising start on “They Had It Coming”. Keep it raw - how do you describe that?

11/04/24

Submission 1.

16/04/24

Submission 2. Ran out of time for drawing work.

17/04/24

Sketchbook work.

S.A.W.E.D.

18/04/24

Submission 3 - an open call.

21/04/24

Studio - pre paint notes:

  • Headscarf - maroon?

  • Background - a sickly yellow / green (not unlike “Amy Study”.

Now that the canvas is covered (no more blankness) - it’s show time.

24/04/24

Dublin bound. Really bad that I have gotten out of the way writing in this. [slaps wrist].

S.V. confirmed! Class!

Popped into the LAB Gallery to see “Emergency Knowledge: The Missing Archives - Vagabond Reviews”. Great to see Save Our Sperrins highlighted among other important causes.

25/04/24

OK, so I’ve been putting this off for a while and now, it seems that bus time is usually RD time these days.

Project idea I had maybe ten years ago: record a sitter - up close in portrait whilst asking questions - mix of mundane and psychological. Between each question - leave around 20 - 30 seconds. The sitter remains silent throughout - more of an introspective process. The idea was to then take still of video and convert to painting.

What if…

test demo screenshot from 2014

instead of a static camera on tripod (that I tried back in 2014) - the footage moved in, out and around the sitter?

And…

instead of working off individual stills on separate works - merging onto one surface. Showing a variation in composition, scale and method of painting depending on the image taken throughout the test?


So, let’s take stock…

Four submissions done in past 6 weeks plus an SV!

Sketchbook work tonight - since brain is firing on a few more cylinders than usual.

27/04/24

Four years. Surreal.

28/04/24

Studio time.

Well, after nearly losing it on the skin tones - “THIC” turned out better than I could have hoped. A strange feeling.

30/04/24

“mother tongue” in the MAC - GREAT!

Dorothy Hunter’s work took breath away! Bloody brilliant.

RDH: JULY 2023

02/07/23

TALK ART: TIM STONER

“When you are a mature artist, you’re not a mature painter”

Edward Hopper

“Process of Catharsis”.

“The world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation. The hand is more important than the eye… The hand is the cutting edge of the mind.”

from ‘The Ascent of Man’ by Jacob Bronowski

Really good going with “In a Huff” today. Yellow a little acidic maybe and the t-shirt needs refining - but not to the point of going too tight with it.

06/07/23

09/07/23

‘A Brush with… Jeremy Deller’

In a Huff” - muted the floor; slightly less acidic and lightened the background / walls. T-Shirt texture is troublesome so pared it back to jostle with it another day.

Put it Away” - background darkened and textured up. Happy little accidents like the dripping on the skin and around the mouth. Have kept them there for now. Perhaps veil them at a later layering stage.

The lighter hair is going to be a challenge and at this point it’s rough as hell

but

I’m looking forward to tackling it again. I feel this may be a case of slowly working in between a few days of drying time. The open hand is a headache because the source image is so bleached out with light that it looks flat. COUNTER THIS.

11/07/23

A few days off.

LATE NIGHT SKETCHING!

13/07/23

Palette cleaned and two new canvases drawn up. Essentially getting ready for Sunday/Monday painting session.

Noticed something when looking through acetate sources. Initials. Lots and lots of initials. Subconsciously adding? Especially ‘A’. If you look at the drawings (and by proxy the paintings too as I try to keep elements of the drawing mark there too) they are there from the get go. Food for thought.

15/07/23

… submitted …

16/07/23

Thought better of putting paint out for a morning studio session. Decided to focus on pushing the drawing and tonal elements of the two new canvas works instead. Full day in the studio tomorrow. Best not throwing that away!

17/07/23

The bones of Orestes.

A really good day in the studio. “In a Huff” finished and more progress on “Put it Away”. Also some layering and groundwork done on the two new pieces. More of this please!

19/07/23

Take own advice.

22/07/23

Oppenheimer = outstanding.

23/07/23

A solid six hours in the studio. Good momentum on large piece - still no title (but worked from an image of Marina Ginestà). An enjoyable birthday weekend.

27/07/23

… preselection…

30/07/23

Not feeling it today. That does not mean that you simply walk away from studio. Grind it out. Do something! Will set ‘Marina’ aside and work on “Put it Away” instead.

See what happens if you stick it out!? Finished this painting even though head was not in it today at all. Yes, the guts of it was done and it just needed refined in certain areas. There’s a level of satisfaction to be had when you accomplish something that is usually the bread and butter stuff when you’re not in the zone. Makes it sweeter somehow.

RDH: AUGUST 2021

02/08/21

unsafe.jpg

Cover of Geraldine O’Kane’s ‘Unsafe’ has dropped. It looks great!

03/08/21

Finally finished sketches from last week.

10/08/21

Very very hectic at the minute.

11/08/21

Night Sky

Night Sky

18/08/21

Still pinching myself. The perfect day. Married my best friend surrounded by nearest and dearest.

18.jpeg

22/08/21

cock-and-bull.jpg

26/08/21

Didn’t get … art award. Very positive feedback in email though.

28/08/21

First day back in the studio in over a month. Not much occurring but still good to get the overalls on and paint out.

life-is-but-a-dream-wip.jpg

Detail work on ‘Life is But a Dream’.

29/08/21

Dusting off the cobwebs.

Finished ‘L.i.B.a.D’. Kept it a little looser than usual and more on the raw side. Better that than over painted.

30/08/21

Sketchbook work tonight.

31/08/21

Never far from thoughts. Doesn’t feel like thirteen years.

VAI Café: Introducing Derry with talks from UV Arts, Void Gallery and CCA Derry.

Power will be off tomorrow so perfect opportunity to catch up on reading and writing.

RDH: JULY 2021

01/07/21

…sent up envelope so will pop stuff over. Prep is just taking over.

07/07/21

Eleven days since being in the studio. Lifetime. Happy to be taking this day in the garage though. Lots of putting on and scraping off paint to ‘Galamseyer’.

Didn’t get selected for the next stage.

10/07/21

Detail of ‘Galamseyer’ - painting in progress

Detail of ‘Galamseyer’ - painting in progress

Pool, Soldier in the Hedge - 1995, Trapped in treehouse, Black binbags, First solo trip to Foyleside.

14/07/21

Stop - Go to Start - Stop - Stop at the minute. Frustrating but no other way round it. Difficult to get a rhythm. Trying to set aside time.

I think what’s really halting things at the minute in ‘Galamseyer’ is that I’m really not sure how or where I want to take it. Crossroads.

Still early stages for ‘Life is But a Dream’.

17/07/21

strawberry-balloon.jpg

Life Changing.

22/07/21

Thirty-Four. The last one for several reasons. This heat is stifling.

23/07/21

Slieve Gallion

Slieve Gallion

24/07/21

H back over for the weekend. Reading round taking a break for the month of August.

Galamseyer’ finished!

Didn’t think it would happen but was closer to an end result than I thought.

Something brought up at the Reading Group that I hope comes up again. The artist scale.

Not just where you sit on this scale but, in terms of how you position your work to others and how it is perceived by viewers. Tough, but tough questions need to be asked.

25/07/21

Talk Art: Rachel Feinstein.

“Relax - stop putting up obstacles and you will float.”

“The Left Hand of Darkness” by Ursula K. Le Guin

27/07/21

Aiming for…. NEARLY.

30/07/21

30.jpg

Double Jabbed!

31/07/21

Great day with the best people.

RDH: JANUARY 2021

03/01/21

sub cruce salus

… too simplistic or is it hard to get ideas across?

04/01/21

Need to leave site.

05/01/21

Elevator pitch: use personal and found imagery to explore notions of trauma, memory and experience. (13 words, 83 characters)

imagery with personal connection - greater impact?

large scale drawings = link between sketchbook and canvas.

05/01/21-sketchbook.jpg

06/01/21

FORM —> CONTENT —> FORM —> CONTENT …

Can you distil the feeling of an image?

Play with gesture.

…adding just for the sake doesn’t cut it. Integrate if it adds to a message.

07/01/21

Hillsborough

Hillsborough

08/01/21

Growing uncertainty in other areas is just leading to this “deer in headlights” feeling.

09/01/21

Lists are all well and good but to get making again ; that’s what it’s all about.

“Shock” looking good thus far.

Shock” looking good thus far.

10/01/21

Passionate about painting / drawing and interplay between the mark-making of both processes… juxtaposing imagery. How do they sit together?

11/01/21

Still have to show though.

12/01/21

Detail of “Shock” - finished today - Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

Detail of “Shock” - finished today - Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

13/01/21

“As an artist you leave a trace of yourself.”

- Mira Schor

Magnets came and work a treat!

Sketchbook work:  13/01/21

Sketchbook work: 13/01/21

16/01/21

A little slow to get in today but four canvas pieces off the starting block which makes up for it.

studio-shot-16-01-21.jpg

18/01/21

18-01-21-sketchbook.jpg

21/01/21

…in a jar for the day.

23/01/21

Forgetown Bridge

Forgetown Bridge

25/01/21

Sketchbook work

minotaur.jpg

27/01/21

…days just melting into each other.

fog.jpg

28/01/21

Not one but two zooms this evening.

29/01/21

Some surprising paint down today. Loosely does it.

Detail of work in progress.

Detail of work in progress.

30/01/21

Cold.

Sketchbook work this evening,

Sketchbook work this evening,

NOTE: Check out the music of Nadine Shah.

31/01/21

One clean palette and one sore head.

RDH: OCTOBER 2020

02/10/20

Prepping studio for visit

full-moon.jpg

03/10/20

GT Reading Round returns!

-inbuilt desire to want something out of ourselves.

Atypical Studio Visit.

04/10/20

Sketchbook work.

06/10/20

MRI scan. Very loud.

Some progress on the little boy piece that was swiftly undone.

07/10/20

Studio Shot:  07/10/20

Studio Shot: 07/10/20

Materials ordered.

10/10/20

World Mental Health Day.

Very happy to have been asked to take part in the second day of Reimagine, Remake Replay’s mental health festival - Head and Heart.

Got a little emotional at one point but that is OK. In good company.

11/10/20

Real struggle to focus the past week. Probably the least productive day in the studio since March.

12/10/20

More work on little boy portrait.

More work on little boy portrait.

15/10/20

Buck up ideas. Foot off the gas.

16/10/20

With new restrictions in place, there will be no Belfast visit tomorrow sadly.

17/10/20

Started two new canvases today. Not sure what’s up. For a while I thought it was the imagery that isn’t exciting enough but I don’t know anymore.

18/10/20

Some good movement on one canvas and a bit of weird experimenting on another.

Some good movement on one canvas and a bit of weird experimenting on another.

21/10/20

New York Times: Rabbit Hole Podcast

(create intrigue)

sketchbook-work-21-10-20.jpg

22/10/20

“Silence is Golden” finished.

silence-is-golden-detail.jpg

24/10/20

Surround Sound!

26/10/20

studio-shot-26-10-20.jpg

Painting work. (‘Misunderstood’ as a wee inside joke?)

The little go-cart piece - tougher than expected.

Two tone might be an option - like voyage home and G’OK.

27/10/20

Out of sorts.

20 paintings since March - hard to believe.

29/10/20

confessional-home.jpg

‘Confessional’ home safe and sound. Thanks to University of Atypical for their support and patience.

Sketchbook session

Sketchbook session

30/10/20

sketchbook-work-30-10-20.jpg

31/10/20

Radio Three’s Sunday Feature: Tate Modern - Exploding the Canon

With the darker evenings and the colder weather setting in, it’s not a surprise that studio time has dwindled. This shouldn’t mean that productive time goes to waste. I have been doing sketchbook work more and now is a good time to research other creative outlets.

○○○

Interview with Reimagine, Remake, Replay Project

On 10th October (world mental health day) I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the folks at Reimagine, Remake, Replay.

We discussed my experience with mental health issues and my artistic practice. I’d encourage everyone to check out the other speakers from the RRR’s Head and Heart Festival here.

Huge thanks to Stephen , Niamh and all the RRR team for making this interview happen!

RDH: SEPTEMBER 2020

01/09/20

Power is out.

02/09/20

The Rashomon Effect: When the same event is described in significantly different and often contradictory ways by people who were involved.

03/09/20

I do feel a little stuck with the Crimean Painting. Some sketchbook work - get back to the drawing board.

06/09/20

Death Masks: bottling the soul, bottling the trauma.

08/09/20

Very strange few days. ‘Taking Orders’ painting - just not sure where to go with it. Leaving it aside for now and having a look at adding a recent sketch and incorporating it into an old abandoned piece. The only good thing I can see in the failed ‘St. Lurach’s’ work is that weeping willow to the left. It should stay in some capacity.

Very lethargic for some reason.

Thoughts = NOT A REALIST PAINTER!!!

Lifelike/ reality isn’t what I’m aiming for in drawing or painting. Yes, sometimes a more realistic application or approach is required depending on what the image dictates. EG: ‘GO’K’ works in that it hints at realism but ultimately leaves the majority of the portrait minimal - barely any detail. This is not just limited to composition, but especially colour I think.

10/09/20

Belfast bound.

So good to get to the MAC for the degree shows from the Belfast School of Art.

‘Confessional’ reopening was great! It’s a show I’m very proud of.

12/09/20

tvh-detail.jpg

Some good progress on ‘The Voyage Home’. Less is more - even on this scale I think. Suits the image and composition well.

13/09/20

Finished!

tvh-detail-two.jpg

15/09/20

Halfway through September! HOW?!?!

Figuring out ideas for next steps and possibilities. Good to get some sketching done tonight. Forgot how accessible sketching smaller than A4 is.

sketchbook-work-15-09-20

18/09/20

‘The Week in Art’ podcast.

Guston and de Kooning - both developed making works with a ‘formula’ able to commercialise work / work that could be made in their sleep and sell no problem. Both rejected this formula and started again.

Integrity.

Elizabeth’ and ‘Mary Ann’ studies - the looser the better.

studio-shot-18-09-20

20/09/20

Detail of ‘Elizabeth Study’ - work in progress

Detail of ‘Elizabeth Study’ - work in progress

I think I’m coming close to a mini burn out as far as studio work is concerned. Might be good to take a step back, read and research for a few days and see where we are.

22/09/20

Finished the little portrait studies. Really different approach but that’s no bad thing. Started some new canvases.

“Art is a wound turned into light.”

Georges Braque

‘Elizabeth Study’ and ‘Mary Ann Study’

Elizabeth Study’ and ‘Mary Ann Study

23/09/20

Research - that’s about it.

24/09/20

Some good progress in the studio today.

studio-shot-24-09-20

25/09/20

Got scared very easily.

sketchbook-work-25/09/20

Sketchbook work.

26/09/20

Five canvases on the go at the minute. Best to focus on one or two at a time. First up., ‘Waiting Room’. It’s been a while from I attempted this image.

Seats / Symbols?

‘The Waiting Room’ - detail

The Waiting Room’ - detail

27/09/20

What was light at the end of the tunnel has turned into a dark abyss. Shrug it off and keep going.

28/09/20

Sketching

29/09/20

So the past few days have seen a real drop in productivity and drive. Reasons or not —> focusing on work will help. Taking a mini break will also help. Easy to fall into old, procrastinating habits.

Meaty questions.

30/09/20

Studio all clean and tidy!

studio-shot-30/09/20

RDH: JULY 2020

01/07/20

large-painting-detail.jpg

Some more Matisse-inspired bamboo work for shapes in the foreground and that’s the large painting finished! Title to be confirmed later.

02/07/20

Abrupt awakening.

So “The Hill of the Red Witch” it is. Very close.

rock-pool-memory-detail.jpg

Eventually got some good ground work down on two new pieces. Some human hair included.

Painter Julie Curtiss (Instagram: @julietuyetcurtiss) joins us for New Social Environment #77, hosted by Rail Editor at Large Jason Rosenfeld (Instagram: @jm...

Great Julie Curtiss talk with Brooklyn Rail.

03/07/20

LOFT

2013 - 2015: 14 works (over 3 years)

LISNAMUCK

2016 - 2018: 36 works (over 3 years)

2019 - June 2020: 16 works (in 18 months)

That’s crazy!

04/07/20

Really pleased with “Left Out” thus far but the mouth on “RPM” is really annoying me!

Really pleased with “Left Out” thus far but the mouth on “RPM” is really annoying me!

05/07/20

office-shot-05/07/20.jpg

QUESTIONS

07/07/20

Working out left hand on “L.O.” is tough. It’s not the shape of it but the lay of the fingers that’s the bother. Pre-mixing … is needed to unify the hands and face. It’s the difference in definition between the upper and lower hands that are jarring a bit.

Days that just don’t go your way. THUMB NEEDS TO BE A FRACTION LONGER!

08/07/20

Working method today is attacking the canvas in micro stages.

NON FINITO = nice idea.

Does something have to look finished before being deemed complete?

Detail of “Left Out”

Detail of “Left Out

…I limped home tonight. Painted for nearly 11 hours. Not sure if “Left Out” is done, but it’s bloody close.

09/07/20

… Yes it’s there!

Good drawing time this evening.

Good drawing time this evening.

10/07/20

Priming, studio cleaning and two little pieces drawn up. Interior one has promise.

11/07/20

The Ruination of the World.

Rock Pool Memory” - the original drawing is not exact and so the dimensions are a little skew-whiff. Possibly why the painting is not coming together.

12/07/20

Horrible day painting but at least it beats not doing anything at all! “Rock Pool Memory” is just that - a memory.

A sense of critical…. ?

14/07/20

Such as strange pain down arms and shoulders last night. Shake it off or…

Trip to A&E - allergic reaction to insect bites. The usual then.

15/07/20

Studio time.

High contrast in BT’s face might be best avoided. Playing around right now just.

High contrast in BT’s face might be best avoided. Playing around right now just.

Nice chat with Chloe, Dominic and Niamh - some interesting discussions.

16/07/20

“Hotel ‘78” complete. [] is right - something slightly different about it. Softer maybe.

Hotel ‘78” complete. [] is right - something slightly different about it. Softer maybe.

A nice dull background on “Seashore Jester”.

17/07/20

Applied … again.

18/07/20

Solid studio day. Resurrected “Rock Pool Memory”. Tonal values not there on “Seashore Jester” just yet but happy enough so far. Stumbled across the old Enfield painting that I abandoned four years ago. Decided to give it another crack.

19/07/20

Upperlands-Dams.jpg

21/07/20

Been a few days of home improvements.

24/07/20

Sketched out little commission and cleaned out palette.

Our friend, interdisciplinary artist Martha Tuttle (@marthatuttle) joins us for a conversation with scholar and curator, Susan Harris in New Social Environme...

Martha Tuttle talk on Brooklyn Rail excellent! Links to antiquity and the tactility of the work is fascinating.

26/07/20

The past few days I’ve literally been going round in circles with “Rock Pool Memory”. Originally I thought executing the proportions properly would have solved any issues that were cropping up but no. I think I’m in two/three minds as to how to approach it so perhaps shelving it isn’t a bad idea for now.

27/07/20

I think it’s important to take a step back sometimes and focus on other elements of practice. So today is a drawing and research day.

“ARS LONGA, VITA BREVIS”

“ART IS LONG, LIFE IS SHORT” the reversed first two lines of Hippocrates’ ‘Aphorismi’

Nearly six hours of sketchbook work today.

28/07/20

Did not expect to but “Rock Pool Memory” is finished. It really has been an unprecedented time of creativity. Silver lining in a weird and unnerving time.

“Rock Pool Memory” finished.

Rock Pool Memory” finished.

29/07/20

The Troxler Effect - monsters in the mirror.

Treated myself to some art books.

Treated myself to some art books.

30/07/20

Detail of ‘Enfield’ painting in progress

Detail of ‘Enfield’ painting in progress

Short stint today, Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

31/07/20

Parts looks OK and then others are close to the point of madness. At least the dead crab looks well.

dead-crab.jpg

RDH: MAY 2020

01/05/20

Finding a new normal.

02/05/20

…so not just images / maps / diagrams but also fears: nightmares.

  • Where are you?

  • What’s your date of birth?

  • What’s today’s date?

  • Do you know why you are here?

  • Who is the Prime minister?

  • Lift both arms

  • Push against me.

  • Follow my finger.

  • Any dizziness? Nausea?

A face in the clouds.

A face in the clouds.

…cover the eyes.

05/05/20

VAI’s café: So good to see what Cecilia Danell is up to in lockdown.

06/05/20

Tried drawing. Didn’t go well. It’s going to take longer than first thought to get back to creative work. Super frustrating.

11/05/20

Head is so sore today. Silver lining: Jerry Saltz’s “How to Be an Artist” arrived today.

12/05/20

  • …avoid little voice neigh-saying in your head. All topics are valid.

  • utilise R.D. more.

  • …with found imagery, find and explore that connection to your own experiences.

  • You never stop learning or looking for new ways to work.

  • Sharpen observational skills. Draw from experience.

Over-analysing? Maybe.

BBC4 LIFE DRAWING LIVE

“A work of art cannot depend on explanation” - Jerry Saltz

14/05/20

Really enjoyed the webinar from VAI with CCA’s Catherine Hemelryk

INTEGRITY!

16/05/20

National Drawing Day. Really good to sit down and just draw today. Did a live-stream where I set up a still life and a few people drew along.

17/05/20

John Berger is always a good read.

18/05/20

Sketchbook work

19/05/20

VAI café

Orla Whelan: existential questions - preoccupation with death. Philosophical exploration.

Another little bit of late night sketching.

22/05/20

The virtual opening of the Catalyst Members Show.

More late night sketchbook work.

24/05/20

“An artists’ job is to reflect the time we live in.” - Nina Simone

26/05/20

“Using line to make visual texture” - Fiona Rae on Dürer

“Race to the Bottom” detail.

“Race to the Bottom” detail.

27/05/20

studio-shot-27-05-20.jpg

28/05/20

Started teaching my dad how to stretch canvas as I can’t at the moment.

Apparently I have the same birthday as Edward Hopper.

30/05/20

Canvas projecting.

Canvas projecting.

31/05/20

Early morning reading.

Early morning reading.

“At root, truth to painting is truth to light.” - Juliam Barnes

mr-crow.jpg

RDH: JANUARY 2020

01/01/20

New Decade. A quiet start to the year but with a feeling of resolve and drive to get things done.

02/01/20

“For the dead travel fast.” - Jonathan Harker’s Journal

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

03/01/20

mem: Sickert’s approach to “Portrait of Hugh Walpole” - one of my favourites - could work. Drastic yes but by simplifying the colours… more painterly…. ambiguous.

04/01/20

The Optimism Gap: Locally good. Nationally bad.

“Unsafe” Commission

Unsafe” Commission

Finished commission. Looked at Sickert and Dumas. Previously it was haggard and stale.

05/01/20

…relieved!

A lot of scanned drawings tonight.

06/01/20

Renewal

07/01/20

Five posts in five weeks.

09/01/20

Confessional

Potential title?

11/01/20

Performed open heart surgery on the 206 today.

Performed open heart surgery on the 206 today.

No Remorse” painting is moving very very slowly.

Detail of “No Remorse” in progress

Detail of “No Remorse” in progress

Overthinking personal issues.

12/01/20

Belfast today.

Incense in sunlight

Incense in sunlight

Issues of “crown” install is mind boggling.

DIONYSUS

13/01/20

Office updating and uploading.

14/01/20

Jade Riley wrote a little piece about my practice. Chuffed!

16/01/20

Ideas with Dad for install concepts.

Hodge-Podge.

17/01/20

Bit of breathing issues but otherwise OK.

19/01/20

Winter sunset

Winter sunset

“Shoah” - 1985 A film by Claude Lanzmann

Eventually got out of a rut (well even a foot out of the door is good) and got sketching.

22/01/20

“To remove unwanted threads of your past (regrets or mistakes) is to undo the tapestry of your life.” - JLP

24/01/20

25/01/20

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the opening of “The Dark” in the CCA. Agnes Meyer-Brandis’ work has made me look at geese in a slightly more positive light.

Started two new canvases and pleased with the progress of “Crown of Dionysus”.

27/01/20

Crown” finished - including wall fixing designed by Dad.

C.E.’s shouldn’t be halted until the weekend.

Finally getting around to reading the collection of art essays by Julian Barnes. I think since I got it the day I visited John in the Royal I’ve been avoiding it.

28/01/20

Late night sketching is better than no sketching at all!

Hatchet sketch

Hatchet sketch

30/01/20

“Time dissolves the story into form, colour, emotion. Modern and ignorant, we re-imagine the story: do we vote for the optimistic yellowing sky, or the grieving greybeard? Or do we end up believing both versions? The eye can flick from one road or one interpretation, to the other: is this what was intended?

Julian Barnes - “Géricault: Catastrophe into Art”

31/01/20

All in all a horrible day.

RDH: NOVEMBER 2019

01/11/19

… good job I checked…

Sketching today but no joy. How to move past this?

02/11/19

A good tidy up in the studio. “H” going well.

03/11/19

jan-gorman-wire-wool.jpeg

Helping Jan with some wire-wool spinning experiments.

11/11/19

diver-sketch.jpg

Recording today and some solid sketchbook time. It’s so important. It is where ideas form and lay roots.

15/11/19

“Long years of secrecy have turned their faces into masks.” - not sure where I heard this from.

16/11/19

Detail of “Helen” - oil and charcoal on canvas.

Detail of “Helen” - oil and charcoal on canvas.

Helen” finished up.

17/11/19

Consciously hold back images.

EMPATHY

22/11/19

What am I doing?

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24/11/19

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Sketchbook work.

25/11/19

“The Art Advocate” podcast - episode 8 is live!

28/11/19

Bizarre

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Delighted to have been commended in the Moth Art Prize 2019!

29/11/19

“Real painters understand with a brush in their hand.”

Berthe Morisot

Need to try and make one little hour of creative work each weekday.

30/11/19

What a difference a boiler makes!

RDH: OCTOBER 2019

01/10/19

“A puncture - a level of emotion” - Zarina Bhimji

Mental health does not and should not define who we are.

Work is dropped off to Newtownards!

Work is dropped off to Newtownards!

03/10/19

Umbrella destroyed by storm but the opening of “Bardo” was great. Great support from friends and a wonderful text written by Gemma Murphy.

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09/10/19

“Sress is the killer of creativity” - Jamian Juliano Villani

Good sketchbook session tonight.

Good sketchbook session tonight.

11/10/19

Doodles to burn.

12/10/19

Cooley’ is gone. Very stale so had to go. A really old image of Helen has replaced it. It’s been a long time since I attempted this image.

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Mask and orchard idea. Sucker for attempting old failures.

17/10/19

Placed…

The prodigal ipod returns after nearly a year missing.

The prodigal ipod returns after nearly a year missing.

19/10/19

Study of Helen” - image is nine years old and I’ve tried to tackle it many many times but only now does it feel like I am making any sort of headway. Difficult to describe. “No Regrets” - push and pull between the two images.

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20/10/19

Conscious decision to limit the palette initially. Sometimes there can be too much choice - especially when starting a new piece. Thinking that by limiting colour in the first stages it can help focus in on tonal values and composition a little more.

“No Regrets” - Painting in progress

No Regrets” - Painting in progress

Weekends aren’t long enough.

24/10/19

Couple kissing under a dark sky.

Geometric lines turn from canvas folds to forks of lightning.

Portrait with slightly opened lips.

26/10/19

Very impressed with the RUA show this year. Some really strong works. Also great to check out the Ulster Museum’s new acquisition of Cornelia Parker.

‘On Refusal’ in the MAC is brilliant - especially Troy Michie’s stunning collages.

David Sherry’s ‘Philosophical Society’ in the Golden Thread Gallery was a lot of fun!

David Sherry’s ‘Philosophical Society’ in the Golden Thread Gallery was a lot of fun!

Some unexpected speed curating from VAI was good fun and great to meet up with old friends.

27/10/19

Little visit to Fiona Stewart’s fabulous studio to be recorded for an upcoming podcast.

30/10/19

Applications.

RDH: SEPTEMBER 2019

01/09/19

More work done to “The Ferryman”. I think it’s lost any painterly charm.

More work done to “The Ferryman”. I think it’s lost any painterly charm.

02/09/19

‘Arena: Kusama Infinity’ - such a great artist!

“While the dead show dead art, living artists die.” - Yayoi Kusama

Hope springs eternal.

05/09/19

Great talk and workshop with Action Mental Health. Really positive and interesting feedback from the crowd.

Patrick Horan’s fantastic paintings in the Ards Art Centre’s Sunburst Gallery.

Patrick Horan’s fantastic paintings in the Ards Art Centre’s Sunburst Gallery.

Called into the Ards Art Centre for a quick chat and a little look at two shows opening; Gavin McCrea’s installation and Patrick Horan’s paintings.

Yusuke Asai’s amazing installation in the Golden Thread Gallery

Yusuke Asai’s amazing installation in the Golden Thread Gallery

At Late Night Art Mark McGreevy’s ‘Flop Sweat’ in the MAC is marvellous! Brilliant use of colour. ‘Knick Knacks and Whatnots’ by Cameron Morgan in University of Atypical is excellent. Blown away by the work on display in the Golden Thread’s “Noise of Silence: Japanese Art Now’ especially Yusuke Asai’s huge mud installations.

06/09/19

“Ferryman” is unusable.

07/09/19

Finally finished the middle panel from the originally conceived “Pioneer” triptych. Think it stands on it’s own merit.

More progress to the the ‘Cooley’ piece.

11/09/19

Sketchbook work tonight.

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12/09/19

Really enjoyed “Memory: The Origin of Alien” documentary.

“At the Mountains of Madness” by HP Lovecraft.

“What will humanity find when they look in the dark places?”

15/09/19

Studio work - some additions of spray paint to ‘Cooley’ piece. Walked away before digging too far.

Little panel piece, “The Horror! The Horror” Speed is it’s friend. Wooden supports are responsive to gestural work - less so with the charcoal marks - more layers needed to achieve tonal quality I’m after.

16/09/19

Wonderful article about my time up at Action Mental Health.

17/09/19

Increase in productivity lately. Could it be a confidence thing? I’m working no more or no less than the slump periods. Is it a case of a fine tuning of better judgement when more at peace with practice? Plenty to look forward to in the coming months.

19/09/19

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21/09/19

Notes: immediate drawing line combined with more deliberate painterly marks. Cross pollination.

“LW” = by removing the instrument of trauma can it be viewed in a miraculous or redemptive light?

Not spelling out the narrative - Great to sit down and chat about work and ideas with GM.

Visit to PS Squared and “How the Image Echos” show.

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Sea Holly Gallery is absolutely stunning and wonderful work on from the 545 pop up group show. So good to see elements of the much loved Orpheus building back in an artistic sense.

Craig Donald’s work alongside restored windows from the Orpheus building in the Sea Holly Gallery

Craig Donald’s work alongside restored windows from the Orpheus building in the Sea Holly Gallery

22/09/19

Finished little panel piece.

Finished little panel piece.

24/09/19

Quarantined.

28/09/19

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Studio work and “Dress Rehearsal Study” is getting there. It’s weird how every time I paint children they end up completely terrifying.

Ari Aster’s Midsommar is utterly amazing. Beautifully filmed and will stay with me for a long time.

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30/09/19

Collection of work for “Bardo” show tomorrow morning.

Collection of work for “Bardo” show tomorrow morning.

RDH: JULY 2019

01/07/19

Slow but important work on “Bogland” today. Thinking a lot about Sickert.

It’s been a rough week but finally seeing positives.

Sketchbook time.

02/07/19

Meditate and Release.

03/07/19

Found ‘failed’ middle panel of “Pioneer Studies”. Works on it’s own merit. Must have been a weak link at the time.

Rework maybe?

Rework maybe?

04/07/19

Submission sent. A glutton for punishment.

06/07/19

Bit later in the day for studio time but spent longer tonight to make up for it.

Some texture with sawdust.

Some texture with sawdust.

Colours are popping and really contrast from the blurred background. Still trying to maintain the mantra of “MAKE EVERY PAINTING A STUDY” but it’s hard when the focal point is a figure where it seems to be falling short.

More integration of sawdust needed? Question everything?

The smallest brush in the arsenal.

The smallest brush in the arsenal.

07/07/19

Didn’t get to sleep until 5am. It’s not my fault.

Crisp morning breeze. Brought a rose in.

Staring at work, the foreground, which I tolerated a few weeks ago, now seems flat. Texture, perspective and overlapping of light and shade required.

09/07/19

A.A.H.

10/07/19

13/07/19

Ballydugan Mill

Ballydugan Mill

14/07/19

Amazing day at G &N’s wedding yesterday! Trying to get a bit of studio work in now before a much needed early night!

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Frustrating. Two steps forward, two steps back. No better off but not worse off either.

15/07/19

“Never mind that nobody bought them! Do them! Tell your story!”

Faith Ringgold


“He who follows is always behind.”

Paul Cézanne

16/07/19

How to get back in the creative mindset?

19/07/19

“Asking for Trouble” - pen on paper

“Asking for Trouble” - pen on paper

‘What gets measured gets done’ is a quote is heard rattled around today.

20/07/19

Plenty of little niggly bits to run through. Let’s not fall into that usual trap of realism!

“I.N.A.R.P.”

Am I focusing too much on that main figure?

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Right… don’t panic!

22/07/19

Strange birthday. Nothing bad, just strange.

Beautiful sketchbook from Jan.

Beautiful sketchbook from Jan.

23/07/19

Didn’t get through. Plough on!

25/07/19

Intense building.

27/07/19

Trying not to waste to so much paint. Working on “Sack Race” - shadows and sack texture.

“Ferryman”: painterly background. Leaving it early.

Ferryman”: painterly background. Leaving it early.

28/07/19

“As an artist you should be the one to sing off key.”

Nicholas Hlobo

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A non-studio art day. Starting new sketchbook. Smaller sale seems to suit drawing technique. I think I came to this realisation some time ago but it must have slipped the memory.

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Arena’s Cindy Sherman: #untitled was great! Chameleon. Film stills and centre pieces are still some of my favourite works.

29/07/19

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“I trust you to make the narrative”

Olafur Eliasson

31/07/19

“Art can offer a chance for self examination”

Olafur Eliasson

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RDH: JUNE 2019

01/06/19

Almost a disaster. Too hung up on certain elements and it is holding the piece back. So the notion of blurring the background and having the foreground sharply in focus works. Execution at the moment is lacking sadly. Need to figure out how to fix the mesh fence but will need to redo all the good work from today. Lesson Learnt.

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02/06/19

Essentially yesterday was a pure slug fest in the studio.

Action is better than inaction. Working out grid for fence work.

Action is better than inaction. Working out grid for fence work.

07/06/19

Great to meet up with folks today.

GOLDEN THREAD GALLERY VISIT:

THE MAC VISIT:

Solo show by John McMacken

Solo show by John McMacken

Belfast School of Art Degree Shows were great. Some outstanding work. Nina Johnston’s tree installation on level 6 is amazing. Regardless of levels/grades that many of the graduates are embarking on that’s the really exciting part.

Looking back, I adored my time in university but detested my degree show. All but one piece has been destroyed and it was the start of a huge, and still ongoing learning curve that’s led my practice to where it is.

Meeting in the evening went really well. Some good feedback and ideas for an upcoming project.

08/06/19

Little break from the studio today to recharge from the overload of art from yesterday.

11/06/19

“Frank Bowling - What do Artists Do All Day?”

12/06/19

The beginnings of planning an exhibition layout.

The beginnings of planning an exhibition layout.

“Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a strength”

Katy Grannan

“Dana Shutz: How Do You Depict A Feeling?”

15/06/19

Detail of the removal process.

Detail of the removal process.

Bit of start and stop in the studio but fixative giveth and fixative taketh away!

Just spied Grace McMurray’s piece in the Royal Academy documentary.

16/06/19

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“Paula Rego: Secrets and Stories” - Great way to start the day!

“Depression is like a crown of thorns”

Paula Rego

Dander down to the river with the dogs.

More pushing back on “Sack Race” although I could have easily got sucked into working on tiny details and not looked at the whole picture.

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Treat every painting as a study.

17/06/19

Glazing, Hatching, Cross Hatching, Direct, Sfumato, Painterly, Impasto, Staining, Dripping, Gestural, Broken Strokes, Dotting, A La Prima, Patches, Feathers, Scumbling, Washes, Bravara, Directional.

Sketchbook work.

Sketchbook work.

19/06/19

Knowledge / Creativity / Inspiration

Beginnings / Liberation

21/06/19

the-bogland-sackrace-work-in-progress

Summer Solstice. Pleased with how mesh fence is coming.

22/06/19

Need to let go of aiming to get the little things perfect in the work. Ultimately its holding up the process. Obviously not saying to go full ‘Sloppy Joe’ on it but recognising when things get knit picky - take a step back and reassess time spent on something inconsequential.

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Perfection is an illusion.

23/06/19

Little break day. Sophia Campbell on “Sky’s PAOTY 2019”.

24/06/19

There’s no sugar coating it. Intrusive thoughts bombarding for practically 8 straight hours.

Embarrassing, frustrating but mainly just terrifying. I don’t want them anymore.

25/06/19

It will take time to get to grips with what is going on.

27/06/19

Currently going through potential imagery. I think its good to scan through images from time to time to build up ideas.

30/06/19

Getting to grips with terms and conditions and sorting out a plan of action together.

RDH: 01/12/18 - 31/12/18

01/12/18

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Blocked out “Bereft Clown”.

02/12/18

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Found an ogham poster on North Street with an interesting translation.

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Vault studios is amazing - especially EMIC’s studio space!

04/12/18

…text to coincide with next solo show…

08/12/18

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Studio work today. Thought I was close to finishing ‘confessional’ but it might be further away than I imagined.

09/12/18

“You make a mistake when you explain the paintings through the war.”

Mark Stevens - on Bacon’s “Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion”

Several shooting stars.

15/12/18

Probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Childhood hero reduced. It's a real jolt to the system.

Trauma doesn’t discriminate. It’s so subjective that it can defy explanation or description. Nightmarish.

16/12/18

Materials courtesy of the University of Atypical’s iDA award arrived to the studio today.

Materials courtesy of the University of Atypical’s iDA award arrived to the studio today.

Need to learn to keep some things to yourself.

See it through. Stay strong and keep head up.

17/12/18

Panic attack today.

21/12/18

You never fully appreciate someone until its too late. A true legend that has shaped so many. Time with family is so important.

Resolutions < Revolutions

22/12/18

Moon-rise over Glenshane.

Moon-rise over Glenshane.

Thought I had a good night’s sleep but my body is telling me different. Need to draw more again.

26/12/18

Getting lost in thought about art is a joy. It’s like taking a mini vacation.

27/12/18

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Some sketchbook work. Not much but it’s a start.

Look more before putting pen to paper. This is not to say to lose the immediacy during the act of drawing but to take a breath to absorb and examine what an image has to offer.

29/12/18

Finished “Confessional”. Maybe when the mind is distracted slightly it makes studio work more of an automated response? Decisions were made and action was taken.

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Not saying having a completely distracted head-space works. Far from it. I’ve been there plenty of times and it’s disastrous. No. It’s more a case of - you’re in the studio and you have a clear(ish) idea of where the work will go so you follow that. The decision making dilemma is lessened due to the preoccupation of other matters going on upstairs.

30/12/18

A bit of work done to “Bereft Clown before clearing the palette and studio up for another year.

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RDH: 01/09/18 - 30/09/18

01/09/18

Detail work to “AMATGS” today.

Detail work to “AMATGS” today.

02/09/18

Lifting unselected works from Belfast.

Lifting unselected works from Belfast.

03/09/18

No point in worrying about things out of your control. Took a while but made good progress in the studio. Gently does it.

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Sculpture on my mind.

04/09/18

…mad to think I have two solo shows coming…

Tinker + Research + Ideas = …

What box?

05/09/18

Detail of sketchbook work.

Detail of sketchbook work.

NB: Sketch from objects?

08/09/18

ideas: …soft pink highlights… hints of sandals… bruised colour…

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Steps in the right direction. Had a notion to put trees in the background - the nothingness was annoying me. After that attempt and then a further attempt to incorporate reflective lines, i think blank is good. There is plenty going on in and amongst the three figures so to try and confuse it with more ammo may be a mistake.

Gathered objects for perusal. Baby steps.

Gathered objects for perusal. Baby steps.

09/09/18

Seneca on anger documentary. Nero’s tutor. People get angry because they are too hopeful - be more pessimistic and less surprised for misfortune.

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Be psychologically prepared from when things go wrong. Dark Symbol - Rudder

“What need is there to weep over parts of life, the whole of it calls for tears.” - Seneca

10/09/18

Playing about with mirror effects.

Playing about with mirror effects.

Change to background. Neutral this time and I think it will work. There was a muck up when I went to put the blood moon back in and I tried to rectify the warmer tones on the upper right or the neutral colour but was then reminded of a quote by Rose Wylie: “I think you’re a lot happier if you don’t mind a bit of imperfection.” It feeds into the Seneca documentary from last night.

11/09/18

Another day filled with distractions.

12/09/18

Eventually got round to doing some sketchbook development.

Eventually got round to doing some sketchbook development.

An afternoon of application submissions and sketchbook studies.

15/09/18

Detail of recently finished painting.

Detail of recently finished painting.

Finished “A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife.”

16/09/18

A lazy day.

17/09/18

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Some interest. Started triptych.

23/09/18

Amazing weekend at the Loughlin wedding!

Amazing weekend at the Loughlin wedding!

24/09/18

Jan mentioned something that I think is important. Doing a little something everyday - even if you think there is no point - is better than doing nothing at all.

25/09/18

A weird impromptu visit. Well-intentioned but very sceptical.

26/09/18

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The only absolute constant is change.

29/09/18

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Painting Peer Critique Session went really well in the Golden Thread Gallery. Hoping it grows and develops.

30/09/18

Studio work. “Pioneer Studies” - good start. Haven’t done a triptych in a few years. Third canvas is all but there.

Close up of one of the “Pioneer Studies” - work in progress.

Close up of one of the “Pioneer Studies” - work in progress.

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife"

For the past few years I've been interested creating work loosely based on the works of Sophocles and in particular the plays surrounding Oedipus.  Yes there is the obvious notion of trauma involved in realising you have murdered your father and married your mother etc but this isn't really of interest.  I have started a few times to make work using imagery form an 1896 Dutch production of "Oedipus Rex" but all have fell short of what I wanted to achieve.

Louis Bouwmeester as Oedipus in a Dutch production (c.1896)

Louis Bouwmeester as Oedipus in a Dutch production (c.1896)

Failed Study of Oedipus from 2017

Failed Study of Oedipus from 2017

"Oedipus and the Sphinx", Gustave Moreau, 1864,&nbsp;The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

"Oedipus and the Sphinx", Gustave Moreau, 1864, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

The character of Oedipus has appeared in art many times.  Some focused on the character's known genius and skills as a soldier / king to be like Moreau's "Oedipus and the Sphinx".  Renoir's take on the myth looked at the unravelling scene of when Oedipus the king emerges from his palace having blinded himself for realising his deeds.  Filled with light and energy Renoir's work is chaotic and seems to put Oedipus' kingdom of Thebes into a frenzy.

"Oedipus Rex", Pierre-Auguste Renoir, 1895, Private Collection

"Oedipus Rex", Pierre-Auguste Renoir, 1895, Private Collection

One painting that has a different stance comes earlier than Moreau and Renoir yet looks at later circumstances. "Oedipus Cursing His Son, Polynices" by Fuseli looks at the epic poem 'The Thebaid' where Oedipus curses his sons for disrespecting him by praying to Zeus that they (Polynices and Eteocles) died by each others hand.

"Oedipus Cursing His Son, Polynices", by Henry Fuseli, 1786, oil on canvas - National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC, USA

"Oedipus Cursing His Son, Polynices", by Henry Fuseli, 1786, oil on canvas - National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC, USA

Polynices and Eteocles roughly translate as 'Manifold Strife' and 'Truly Glorious' respectively.  I did a small sketch a few years ago of a photo taken in 1911 of past family members from when they were children and hadn't developed it any further until it came to mind as a stand in for the two sons of Oedipus (although one is actually a little girl).  I've decided to merge the Dutch production image of Oedipus and the personal photo.

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A mixing of the translations of Polynices and Eteocles serves as the working title for this painting in progress:

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife"

A WORK IN PROGRESS