self portrait

RDH: JULY 2020

01/07/20

large-painting-detail.jpg

Some more Matisse-inspired bamboo work for shapes in the foreground and that’s the large painting finished! Title to be confirmed later.

02/07/20

Abrupt awakening.

So “The Hill of the Red Witch” it is. Very close.

rock-pool-memory-detail.jpg

Eventually got some good ground work down on two new pieces. Some human hair included.

Painter Julie Curtiss (Instagram: @julietuyetcurtiss) joins us for New Social Environment #77, hosted by Rail Editor at Large Jason Rosenfeld (Instagram: @jm...

Great Julie Curtiss talk with Brooklyn Rail.

03/07/20

LOFT

2013 - 2015: 14 works (over 3 years)

LISNAMUCK

2016 - 2018: 36 works (over 3 years)

2019 - June 2020: 16 works (in 18 months)

That’s crazy!

04/07/20

Really pleased with “Left Out” thus far but the mouth on “RPM” is really annoying me!

Really pleased with “Left Out” thus far but the mouth on “RPM” is really annoying me!

05/07/20

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QUESTIONS

07/07/20

Working out left hand on “L.O.” is tough. It’s not the shape of it but the lay of the fingers that’s the bother. Pre-mixing … is needed to unify the hands and face. It’s the difference in definition between the upper and lower hands that are jarring a bit.

Days that just don’t go your way. THUMB NEEDS TO BE A FRACTION LONGER!

08/07/20

Working method today is attacking the canvas in micro stages.

NON FINITO = nice idea.

Does something have to look finished before being deemed complete?

Detail of “Left Out”

Detail of “Left Out

…I limped home tonight. Painted for nearly 11 hours. Not sure if “Left Out” is done, but it’s bloody close.

09/07/20

… Yes it’s there!

Good drawing time this evening.

Good drawing time this evening.

10/07/20

Priming, studio cleaning and two little pieces drawn up. Interior one has promise.

11/07/20

The Ruination of the World.

Rock Pool Memory” - the original drawing is not exact and so the dimensions are a little skew-whiff. Possibly why the painting is not coming together.

12/07/20

Horrible day painting but at least it beats not doing anything at all! “Rock Pool Memory” is just that - a memory.

A sense of critical…. ?

14/07/20

Such as strange pain down arms and shoulders last night. Shake it off or…

Trip to A&E - allergic reaction to insect bites. The usual then.

15/07/20

Studio time.

High contrast in BT’s face might be best avoided. Playing around right now just.

High contrast in BT’s face might be best avoided. Playing around right now just.

Nice chat with Chloe, Dominic and Niamh - some interesting discussions.

16/07/20

“Hotel ‘78” complete. [] is right - something slightly different about it. Softer maybe.

Hotel ‘78” complete. [] is right - something slightly different about it. Softer maybe.

A nice dull background on “Seashore Jester”.

17/07/20

Applied … again.

18/07/20

Solid studio day. Resurrected “Rock Pool Memory”. Tonal values not there on “Seashore Jester” just yet but happy enough so far. Stumbled across the old Enfield painting that I abandoned four years ago. Decided to give it another crack.

19/07/20

Upperlands-Dams.jpg

21/07/20

Been a few days of home improvements.

24/07/20

Sketched out little commission and cleaned out palette.

Our friend, interdisciplinary artist Martha Tuttle (@marthatuttle) joins us for a conversation with scholar and curator, Susan Harris in New Social Environme...

Martha Tuttle talk on Brooklyn Rail excellent! Links to antiquity and the tactility of the work is fascinating.

26/07/20

The past few days I’ve literally been going round in circles with “Rock Pool Memory”. Originally I thought executing the proportions properly would have solved any issues that were cropping up but no. I think I’m in two/three minds as to how to approach it so perhaps shelving it isn’t a bad idea for now.

27/07/20

I think it’s important to take a step back sometimes and focus on other elements of practice. So today is a drawing and research day.

“ARS LONGA, VITA BREVIS”

“ART IS LONG, LIFE IS SHORT” the reversed first two lines of Hippocrates’ ‘Aphorismi’

Nearly six hours of sketchbook work today.

28/07/20

Did not expect to but “Rock Pool Memory” is finished. It really has been an unprecedented time of creativity. Silver lining in a weird and unnerving time.

“Rock Pool Memory” finished.

Rock Pool Memory” finished.

29/07/20

The Troxler Effect - monsters in the mirror.

Treated myself to some art books.

Treated myself to some art books.

30/07/20

Detail of ‘Enfield’ painting in progress

Detail of ‘Enfield’ painting in progress

Short stint today, Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

31/07/20

Parts looks OK and then others are close to the point of madness. At least the dead crab looks well.

dead-crab.jpg

RDH: MARCH 2020

01/03/20

Focus turns to show opening.

03/03/20

Spend a little time looking and you might find a way in. Now at that limbo stage with “No Remorse”. Compositionally solid but colours and painterly gestures are off.

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Surprising bound forward on “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Face is mask-like (maybe a good thing?)

05/03/20

Nervous as hell. First stop - Ursula Burke in the Ulster Museum. Wonderful scope and the wall mural is stunning. A quick jaunt into town - in GT’s “Dissolving Histories” I especially liked Stuart Calvin’s work. Great to see Dougal McKenzie’s project space show “More Bad News”. Beautiful little touches.

Next onto the MAC for Mark Garry’s “Songs and the Soil”. Placed over the three galleries, the work is immersive and stunning.

Helped with the last little touches to the show prep. Great turnout for Late Night Art and the feedback has knocked me back - in the best possible way. Really not good at taking compliments. Marcus Keeley came by for a chat in the store room for his “Instant Feedback” podcast.

06/03/20

Wee stay with Jane. A beautiful house and a beautiful soul. Finally got to visit QSS for “Four Female Painters” exhibition. Amazing space and great work. Alana Barton’s piece “Blossom” made me cry and not even ashamed to say it. It struck a nerve. The delicacy of the child’s little fingers touching the adult’s hair. Beautifully painted.

Took myself back to re-watch Mark Garry’s videos in the MAC. The close up recordings of the horses is haunting and strangely intimate.

08/03/20

Few days off but little updates online here and there.

11/03/20

sketchbook-work-11/03/20.jpg

Sketchbook work

14/03/20

Scary times. Back to the looking phase. It seems to help.

Les Yeux sans visage

Self Portrait: face is still very mask-like. Reminds me of a still from “Les yeux sans visage”.

…knowing when to quit for the day is important.

15/03/20

Slow burning day but when I eventually got to studio and began making real progress, the power goes off!

Serves me right for getting ahead of myself.

“No Remorse” in progress

No Remorse” in progress

16/03/20

The “In Conversation” that was to take place with the show in Atypical has rightly been postponed due to ongoing circumstances.

18/03/20

Have to self-isolate for 14 days. The worries mount.

22/03/20

Sketchbook work for the first time in 11 days. Feels like a lifetime.

Is there a better, more cohesive way to go about the drawing side of practice?

I think immediacy, or the notion of immediacy, is still important.

24/03/20

Transferred some recent drawings to acetate.

STEP UP!

25/03/20

no-remorse-detail.jpg

Studio time with Radiohead.

26/03/20

A bit of sketching but mainly organising imagery.

“There’s no point in worryin’ what ye can’t control.”

BAK

no-remorse-finished.jpg

No Remorse” is finished. There are parts that still annoy but all in all pleased to it’s best to leave it and move on.

28/03/20

SPwS-detail.jpg

Pushing and pulling with “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Frustrating but really fun at the same time!

29/03/20

Cleaning palette and studio up. Also stripped the background of “SPwS”. Too similar to the skin tones and made the canvas seem quite flat.

30/03/20

So bloody close!

31/03/20

Last day of quarantine.

Great to take part in the VAI online café and to get an insight into Tinka Bechert’s wonderful work.

SPwS” finished. It is very wonky as it’s taken from a very wonky sketch from a few years ago but there’s something about the sketch that made me want to try and develop it into a painting for quite some time.

RDH: FEBRUARY 2020

01/02/20

Detail of “Self-Portrait with Sketchbook” - painting in progress

Detail of “Self-Portrait with Sketchbook” - painting in progress

Right, get paint down! Started two little pieces today and “The Crown of Dionysus” is complete"!

“The Crown of Dionysus” on my very dirty studio wall.

The Crown of Dionysus” on my very dirty studio wall.

02/02/20

The last palindrome day for another 111 years. Damn rugby is distracting!

“No Remorse” - background building up.

No Remorse” - background building up.

03/02/20

Parcel.

06/02/20

“Religion decays, the icon remains; a narrative is forgotten, yet its representation still magnetises (the ignorant eye triumphs - how galling for the informed eye).”

Julian Barnes - ‘Géricault: Catastrophe into Art’

“No sooner do we come into this world, than bits of us start to fall off.”

Gustave Flaubert

09/02/20

Detail of body - “No Remorse”

Detail of body - “No Remorse

Using storm Ciara to aid in the drying process.

10/02/20

Submission started.

Mobile installation?

11/02/20

…might be a little out there. Will sit on it for a while.

“Laziness is a sign of mediocrity.”

Voltaire

15/02/20

Visit by Jane and Hugh.

Victim / Perpetrator / Both

linking current work.

17/02/20

All pieces are wrapped and ready to go.

21/02/20

Slight change of plan.

23/02/20

Sketchbook work tonight.

Sketchbook work tonight.

25/02/20

Nerves are shredded already!

26/02/20

Work is on its way.

27/02/20

Well that’s it! Install complete I’m really happy with the exhibition and now it’s a waiting game for the opening.

29/02/20

Louis Fratino on Talk Art podcast.

Repeating motifs. mem: Like that odd shoulder loop that happens in drawings and then translates to paintings.

Made good progress in some areas of “Remorse” (bodies) but mostly have over painted to the point where I can’t put anything else down. Better to walk away now and go again another day than to push it over the edge today. Have reintroduced some rough drawing elements into the background.

no-remorse-body-detail.jpg

2019 in Photos

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

RDH: 01/07/18 - 31/07/18

01/07/18

Crunching numbers.

02/07/18

... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

03/07/18

TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT

04/07/18

Shocked. Head spirals backwards.  Sketchbook work today.

05/07/18

'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death

...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

1:  Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.

2:  Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.

3:  Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).

Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!

07/07/18

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

rough sketch for an installation idea

rough sketch for an installation idea

08/07/18

A research day.

A research day.

09/07/18

Studio wall

Studio wall

Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.

10/07/18

"Traumatic Memory"

trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.

11/07/18

NOTES from Psychology texts:

"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."

A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.

Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)

Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.

12/07/18

0712a.JPG

Sketchbook work today.  Little steps are better than no steps at all.

13/07/18

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Stretched a few canvases today.

14/07/18

detail of landscape in progress

detail of landscape in progress

Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.

15/07/18

;

16/07/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today.  Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.

17/07/18

"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas

18/07/18

A delivery of paints came today

A delivery of paints came today

19/07/18

"Lost Illusions" by Balzac

20/07/18

A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!

21/07/18

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

22/07/18

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

23/07/18

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

Too many ideas floating around.

NB:  To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand.  Can't do any harm.

A five minute self portrait study

A five minute self portrait study

24/07/18

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry.  Still so powerful.  The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides.  It is so important.  So glad to have seen it again.

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.

Imagine... Rose Wylie on BBC iPlayer

...where presence is evident...

"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie

25/07/18

The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively.  Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.

Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018.  Fingers crossed!

26/07/18

"What's for you won't go past you."

Progress on a small painting study

Progress on a small painting study

TAL R on Louisiana Channel

"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R

27/07/18

Four works in progress in the studio

Four works in progress in the studio

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.

candle.JPG

"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R

28/07/18

rehearsal-study-brian-kielt.JPG

Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today.  Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.

31/07/18

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So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast.  This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance.  Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!

Whoever heard of a Black Artist?" on BBC iPlayer.